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As a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, I’ve noticed there’s often a really good child, a reasonably good child, and a renegade child among each generation. Same parents, but very different children. It’s a frightening prospect to consider their adult lives.

Have you ever wondered if God has had to deal with that same pattern in us? I have recently been thinking of a phrase so often used in the Bible, … Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; the first three generations of the family God chose. Why did He not identify Himself as the God of Adam, Cain, and Enoch? Why did He choose to be identified as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?

Abraham’s dad, Terah, was an idolator. (Joshua 24:2) Some Jewish traditions say he made idols.  The Bible does not specify how Abraham learned about Jehovah God. We just know the Bible reads Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” Genesis 12:1-3 (ESV) What would it take for a son, in that day, to break away from his dad’s belief system? He must have had some form of a maverick streak in him. Furthermore, Abraham was not sinless. Yet, from that point on, he was reasonably compliant with God. He came to be known as a “friend of God”. He had an extraordinary faith in God that he did not get from his biological family. In essence, Abraham served as a remarkable follower of God, much like an exemplary child. Jesus even identified Himself with Abraham. God is a God of excellent children.

Isaac believed in God, but not to the level his father did. We might say he was a very ordinary child of God. He was neither a wonder man like his father, nor a bad person. God is also the God of ordinary children.

What do we know about Jacob? If we look back into his youth, he was a deceiver. He manipulated his father and brother, Esau, out of his family birthright. He escaped his brother’s fury, only to find his match in his uncle Laban. Laban recognized Jacob’s deceitful nature and sought to outwit him. But that didn’t work well for him. Jacob, aided by God, managed to outsmart Laban and get some of his sheep. Not too many would call that being an excellent or even ordinary person. He was considered the black sheep of the family, a problematic child. However, God says He was also the God of Jacob. The all-night wrestling match with an angel God sent profoundly altered Jacob.

I wrote all that to point out that God is the God of the excellent, the ordinary, and even the not so good follower of God. I see that as very encouraging! When believers fall short, I find myself being critical. This person, like all of us, is created in God’s likeness. And God will wrestle with the bad believer because He loves and cares for them as He does the ordinary and excellent ones. We find it challenging to imitate Paul’s divinely inspired message, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” I face the challenge of spiritual maturity while also honoring individuals who may seem dishonorable. How about you?

I suspect I subconsciously falsely assumed I had overcome Satan’s temptations. I erroneously thought I now knew his tactics, so I could ‘fly above’ them. The fact is, until a person is given the opportunity to disobey, a person cannot think of themselves as being above failing to obey. A few years back, I had forcefully preached that we must obey God’s nudging no matter what the consequences might be. I genuinely believed that to be the case. But it is easier to say than to practice. I was about to be tested with that belief.

That year was when our state wide church council elected/re-elected who would serve as the ‘superintendent’ for the next four years.  My wife nor I was interested at all in that role, nor did we feel qualified for it. Therefore, as I was about to stand to ask my name be removed from the list of candidates, I had my most powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit. He firmly asked, “Are you saying you won’t take this role?” I froze! How could I decline, having just preached so vehemently, that we must obey whatever God asked of us?  So, reluctantly, I kept my mouth shut.

That temptation was followed by Connie’s fatal illness. We had agreed not to resist God’s plan as we had so frequently earlier. While we repeatedly shared with Him our preferences, we cautiously accepted God’s decision to graduate her into His heaven. Having overcome our strong resistance to God’s plans, I felt I was now strong enough to resist whatever Satan might throw at me. What He had not yet made clear to me was that I had to totally stop trusting in myself and start trusting more completely in His leadership and control over my life.

To be more candid. While I learned some through that hard experience, after Connie’s death I had more to learn about not trusting in myself.

One day I clicked on what sounded like an interesting article about insects migrating into the Midwest. As soon as I clicked on it, my computer suddenly exploded with screaming voices that I was being scammed at my bank by several guys in Mexico. One screaming voice was telling me to call Microsoft immediately to stop the scam by locking down my computer. With my adrenaline pumping, I called the Microsoft phone number presented to me. But this phone number wasn’t Microsoft’s; it was a scam number. So, the saga proceeded.

Unfortunately, I had prided myself on being able to keep my poise in tense situations, and this was God’s way of showing me I cannot trust myself, my poise, or wisdom! I was literally in a state of shock for a couple of days. I was humiliated that I had been scammed! But it jolted me enough to understand I CANNOT TRUST ANYTHING about MYSELF. I honestly believe God allows Satan to throw everything at us like that to show proud people like me how I am just as vulnerable to temptation as everyone else. I will take serious steps to never forget what the Holy Spirit revealed to me about myself.

Each of us needs to understand; it is foolish to say we are too godly, poised, brilliant, resistant, or smart enough to be above Satan’s temptations. From that point on, I am much more cautious about making any decision without consciously trusting God about which direction I am to go. I have expanded that sobriety into all areas of my life. I continually ask God to please protect me from myself.

Have you ever felt jealous of what someone can do or possess? Was what you experienced envy, coveting, or jealousy? The feelings are similar and commonly confused; therefore, sometimes used interchangeably. Envy and coveting focus on wanting something someone else has that you want. Coveting is envy on steroids and therefore involves more conflict. If you don’t have or cannot do something someone else possesses or is able to do that you want for yourself, that describes the word envy. Coveting is when envy has become more aggressive. Jealousy has more to do with how you feel when someone tries to get from you what you already have. It could be said that it involves feeling threatened or fearful of losing what it possesses and therefore can become aggressive. Envy and coveting ask what this matter says about my worth. Jealousy asks if I am still feeling safe and valued. Jealousy is more intense than envy and therefore can be more intense than coveting if the threat intensifies.

So, what does the Bible mean when it says, “(for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God),” Exodus 34:14 (ESV). “For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” Deuteronomy 4:24 (ESV). Among many other things, the cross is a vivid illustration of the heat of God’s jealousy. He allowed His own Son to be crucified in order to keep those who surrender their lives, their kingdom, to Him.

The truth is, God alone created us, then bought us back with the price of His Son’s death on the cross. Therefore, He alone deserves the right to ask us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30 (ESV). That distinguishes Him from all the rest of creation, because He has the right to the absolute place of adoration, affection, consideration, and every other kind of attention and interest. Therefore, at root, jealousy is a tendency, at least, to take God’s place as King of our lives. He is the only one who has a right to be jealous. He created all things for Himself. Everything has its very being and existence through Him. Nothing would ever be, but for Him. Everything and everyone owe their very being to Him, and He stands, therefore, in the position of having the right, the absolute right, to pre-eminent place – to have everything, to have undivided, unreserved place.

Are we being envious and presumptuous toward God when we do whatever we want to do and expect Him to look the other way? He has a total right to ask of us whatever He desires of us, money, time, pleasure, passion, etc. It is at this point God will show His jealousy for what He created, then bought and paid for. What amazes me is that He not only rightfully asks these things from us, He is also so patient and long-suffering with us. He not only empowers us to follow His ways, but He also even gives us His joy when we give ourselves to obey Him.

Satan used envy when he tempted Eve by telling her she could be “like God”. (Gen. 3:5). What is the difference from him tempting us to do whatever pleasure presented us when, like Eve, we already know what the Bible teaches us about what sin is. We forget that this jealous God has the last word. Have we been careful to follow His ways, the ways of our culture, or our ways? We must remember, every knee shall bow before Him and give an account of what we have done with what He gave us.

Blindness is dangerous, be it physical or metaphorical. When a physically blind person walks in front of a car, it is understandable. They cannot see the danger. Is a figuratively blind person equally vulnerable to disaster? We can dismiss a physically blind person for getting themselves into a dangerous position. But can we dismiss an allegorically blind person when they get themselves into a threatening position?

What perspective did Jesus have of those who crucified Him, both the Jewish leaders and the Roman soldiers? When he was dying on the cross, His infamous words were, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34a (ESV) Was that true? Didn’t they know they were killing Him? Of course, they did. So how could He mean that? He could say that because they were totally blind to the truth that He was the Son of God.

Notice Jesus’s thinking after He healed the physically blind man. “Jesus heard they had cast him out [of the temple], and having found him he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” He answered, “And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you.” He said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

Jesus then said, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, “Are we also blind?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains. John 9:35-41 (ESV)

Even with the complexities involved in this exchange, it’s apparent that individuals who are mentally, emotionally, or spiritually blind can become aware of their previous blindness. However, their refusal to acknowledge it makes them guilty. So, was Jesus abdicating the soldiers who killed Him, but not the Jewish leaders. They were knowingly rejecting Jesus.

Could it be that those who are exposed to the truth have the opportunity for the Spirit to reveal the truth, making them able to open their eyes? While others remained stubbornly blind and are therefore guilty of the sin they willingly practice?

What can blind a person today? Can things like fear, shock, greed, sexual lust, anger, power, contempt, tradition, etc. blind a person? Most certainly! What might that suggest about believers whose conscience has become calloused, so they continue their unrighteous thinking and subsequent behavior? The prophet Isaiah made a very interesting statement. “Are you amazed and incredulous? Don’t you believe it? Then go ahead and be blind. You are stupid, but not from wine! You stagger, but not from liquor! For the LORD has poured out on you a spirit of deep sleep. He has closed the eyes of your prophets and visionaries [spiritual leaders]. Isaiah 29:9-10 (NLT2)

The longer the blind man experienced his new life through Christ, the more confident he became in the one who had healed him. He gained not only physical sight but also spiritual sight as he recognized Jesus. (John 9:17), When you turn to Christ, you see him differently. By the same token, it is possible for a believer to take God for granted when he/she knew better but continued following their fallen desires instead of beginning to think, respond and value what He values. If you want to avoid blindness and know more about Jesus, keep walking closer to him. Follow each nudge He gives, prompting you to alter something in your life. He purposes each of us to become more and more like Jesus in character, values, and ways.

Is there anything more frustrating than desperately wanting to please someone and not being able to light the spark within them? Then someone else comes and does something, and they light up like a Christmas tree. The same thing can happen to your spouse, children, friends, and yes, God.

It is like trying to get your computer printer to work, and after trying everything you remember has worked before, it just sits there on the desk as still as a dark night. You call a computer expert and bingo; they hit the right buttons, and the printer comes alive.

Perhaps I’ve identified an issue that’s hindering God’s response to my efforts. Reflecting on it, I realize I try to predict God’s next action. I can become so distracted with His last assignment that I miss a turn when He makes it. The prayer I need the most is for the Holy Spirit to protect me from myself!!

Could it be that the idea that we cannot please God is mistaken? Perhaps our human perspective on pleasing God is so clouded by self-interest and expectations that we cannot see how simple it truly is.

We often try to get God’s attention or approval by doing what we think He desires, yet receive no response. What does it take to ‘wake God up’ and get Him to respond? David shared his frustration with God when he wrote, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Psalm 22:1-2 (NIV) I wonder if God has similar frustrations with us at times.

I’m reminded of Moses’ words when he prayed, “If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.” Exodus 33:13a (NIV) I’ve found things go much better when I’m on the same page God is on. He knows we are human and incapable of predicting Him. In contrast, we tend to think too highly of ourselves and believe we are solely responsible for success. That’s exactly the source of our difficulty. Rather than striving to do more, He desires that we humbly acknowledge our inability and desperation. He knows we need to lean completely on Him to cultivate the character, love, values, and ways of the Godhead. He wants us to give up our pride and need for control so He can mold us into His image. We will only be transformed into His image through reliance on Him.

Our immersion in present pleasures can blind us to coming developments. Our absorption in His previous assignment can lead to being blindsided when divine attention changes and we miss the curve in the road. We lay in the ditch in a daze, frustrated that He left us. Typically, when I am close to Him, I find great delight in serving others in His name. My enjoyment of this becomes so great that I assume He desires me to persist, causing me to not see when He shifts to address a different issue. While God wants us to find joy in our work with Him, we cannot allow our earthly assignment to become more important than our focus on Him. I, for one, must be more attentive to His moves, not my expectations.

The lyrics of an old gospel song went, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. Can Christianity be summarized by just being obedient? Is all obedience the same? We just have to obey?

Is obedience done out of fear, love, obligation, or legalism the same in God’s eyes? Do you prefer a person obeys you because they fear or feel obligated to you, or because they love you?

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15 (ESV) 5 But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. 1 John 2:5-6 (NLT2) 3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3 (NLT2)

Could it be possible for obedience to become a ‘god’ in our mind rather than Jehovah God?

So, obedience itself is not the main thing; love is. As John wrote, obedience flows out of love. Love doesn’t come out of fear or legalistically checking off a list each day that they fulfilled their responsibility to love God.

This then leads to the question, how can we come to love God if it is not out of fearing Him first? It has fascinated me that the Old Testament focuses more on fearing God than loving Him, albeit, what they relate to fearing Him is about the same, if not the same, as how the New Testament uses the term loving Him. If they are not the same, they are like two sides of the same coin.

Whatever the case, we humans cannot make ourselves love God. Love is an involuntary result of experiencing an awe of Him and what He says or does. This awe can come to us in different ways, but the most common way it happens for me is when I position myself to encounter Him. More often than not, I experience an encounter with Him when I read and wrestle with a challenging thought triggered when reading a thought-provoking statement or series of statements in the Bible. It would appear that is when the Holy Spirit directs me to another passage in the Bible that resolves the question I was wrestling with. I have come to the conclusion (right or wrong) that He genuinely likes it when I’m seeking an answer that leads to revealing more of his character, values, or ways.

I don’t experience fear or love of Him if I am sitting static in my thoughts or letting my mind wander meander about situations around me. I frequently have had a sense of His presence when I’m driving the car, and my mind is not focused on anything in particular.

Bottom line: I can’t believe obeying God means much of anything to Him if what I am thinking or doing is out of obligation or some form of legalist requirement that I am doing just to coheres Him to do something. He is not much into bartering or bargaining with me. I have found He knows when I am doing or saying something out of ritualistic or pietistic in my behavior. When have you encountered his presence most often? Have you obeyed Him out of obligation of some sort?

I honestly want to hear God’s whispers. I ask, I pray, I read the Bible, but I hear nothing. I heard a very sincere person say that just a few weeks ago.

As a preteen, I was irritated because although I had asked the Holy Spirit to fill me, nothing happened. When praying at a youth event, in frustration, I decided to just start speaking what some might call gibberish. I then sensed God’s Spirit and began speaking in another language. I soon realized God wasn’t holding out on me; the problem was my false expectations. Like Peter, I had to lift my legs to ‘get out of the boat’ before I could walk on the water. My expectation was for Him to deliver something sensational, not for me to advance in a relaxed and unhurried manner. Elijah expected God to be in the strong wind, earthquake, and fire, but he didn’t see or hear God. After the sensational experience passed, there was a low whisper, and he instantly knew it was God. (1 Kings 19:11-13)

My problem had been my false expectations. When we hear testimonies of God doing something dynamic in someone’s life, our minds conjure up something sensational rather than very natural or casual. More often than not, God uses very natural people or natural events to accomplish His plan. It may be a donkey (Numbers 22:28-30), or a “great fish” simply swimming in the sea (Jonah 1:17). He may speak through a child in a normal conversation, or through a friend, or even an enemy or stranger we meet. God rarely says how or through whom He will speak to us.

On one occasion when I had people to forward in church to receive prayer from a spiritual leader for healing, one of our deacons came forward to pray for those who came forward. He prayed for a lady who was going to the city the next day to receive treatment for stage 4 lung cancer. Nothing sensational occurred, but when the couple went to the doctor to run tests before surgery, to everyone’s surprise, the tests came back with only scar tissue where previous tests by local doctors had clearly revealed a large cancer. When we heard the report, the deacon who prayed for her was shocked as well. He had experienced nothing sensational occurring when he prayed, so he didn’t expect a miracle.

God is not a sensationalist, even though He can do very sensational things. If we expect to hear God’s voice or encounter Him, we must remember His ways are not our ways. He will work the plans He has for us or through us when we are not even aware anything dynamic is happening.

This is a very formidable truth. We must not allow our minds to put faith in sensational experiences. Our faith must be totally focused on God, the miracle worker. Jesus told the parable, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.” Mark 4:26-28 (ESV) That is a great picture of one of God’s ways. The fact is, while we are to ask and trust, unless we are specifically told to do something, that is where it must stop our actions. If we attempt to imagine or take any initiative on our part to help Him, we typically will end up subconsciously taking the credit for what He has done. God insists on getting the honor and glory for what He does. He will wait until we relax and walk normally while trusting only in Him. When we get ahead of God and try too hard to get something to happen, we get frustrated thinking He isn’t holding up His end of the task.

I value each person who reads this blog. Therefore, I thought it might be insightful to you if I shared how I process thoughts or questions as they come to me as I read scripture.

I was reading Romans 1:18-29 “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. … 28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity …”  (NIV)

The thought then occurred to me, beyond God’s infinite love, as it relates to us, it seems love is a two-way street. Jesus said, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Mark 12:30 (NLT2). The above passage teaches we are the ones who limit how much love we receive from God.

It brought to my mind the Detachment Disorder, a condition where a traumatic experience leaves a child incapable of loving, or narcissists who are so self-focused they cannot genuinely love others. Could it be that God longs to love us far more, but we are so caught up with ourselves, our worries, dreams, rationalism, pleasures of life, etc. to receive of His infinite love.

By giving our utmost to Him, we unlock our capacity to experience His endless affection. This works the same in a marriage. A spouse’s ability to give love is ultimately constrained by how much their partner is capable of receiving it. In other words, if we know a spouse or friend genuinely and deeply loves or cherishes us, we are much more able to selflessly do far more things for and with them. If we sense a person does not cherish us, it limits how we can express our love to them.

In principle, to the point we experientially receive God’s love and totally cast ourselves upon Him, to that point, God will be able to express His love to us. The more we discover of His infinite love and respond to it, the deeper and more intimate our relationship will be. The point is, if we want to experience God’s love, we must express our unselfish love for Him by seeking to know what the Bible teaches us about Him and His love and care for us.

My takeaway from this concept is a stronger motivation to express the selfless love in my heart for God in my daily life. I have experientially found that the more I have unselfishly devoted my worship and dependence upon Him, the more delight and gratification I have experienced. Reflecting on this concept compels me to increase my love and devotion to Him. How might pondering this concept affect you?

Have you ever learned something new about a subject you thought you understood well? A sense of energy comes from uncovering a new truth, whether it’s an entirely fresh manifestation of God’s truth or a deeper insight into something you were already aware of. This provides a more thorough grasp of my existing knowledge.

Knowing Jesus Christ created everything is like being in the shallow end of a pool. You enter the knee-high part when you process, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. Colossians 1:16 (ESV) Think of what He created.  1) He created ALL things, both good and bad dominions, or principalities or powers. That is mind-bending! Isaiah the prophet wrote, “I (God) form the light and create darkness, I make peace [national well-being] and I create [physical] evil (calamity); I am the Lord, Who does all these things. Isaiah 45:7 (AMP). The text then states, “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17 (ESV) Additionally, the text says, “… through Him to reconcile all things unto Himself, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven, by making peace through the blood of His cross.” Colossians 1:20 (ESV)

This sounds like before creation, the Trinitarian God desired to show amazing grace and mercy. So, they strategized to create humans who would separate from Himself. One of them would limit Himself and become fully human and be crucified in order to give grace and mercy that would reconcile fallen humanity to Himself. Try to imagine yourself in Jesus’ humanity position, discovering as He matured, this redemption plan and His role in it. As He grew in understanding, He understood enough that He had to learn how to deny His mind, will, and emotions and follow His spirit, through which the Spirit would empower Him to develop. Jesus clarified how He had learned to function by saying, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing.” John 5:19 (NLT2)” John 5:19 (TEV) Honestly, I highly admire Jesus’ humanity. If He could learn to live that way, the Spirit can help me to do it too.

The Spirit planted in Jesus’ spirit a passion to reconcile all humanity to Himself. While He had done absolutely nothing wrong, He loved us as His Father loved us. That is so amazing! He also was made to understand that not all humanity would accept His unbelievable, sacrificial gift. Imagine paying the supreme sacrifice, knowing that most would not receive your gift.

If understanding all this doesn’t give you a sense of the awe of Jesus Christ, you are missing out on a most profound Bible truth. It would be like not having a sense of awe when you try to count the stars in the night sky and ponder just how much fun God was having when He created the Big and Little Dipper. Awe is often an overwhelming emotion of stunning admiration.

Frankly, I am in awe of the humanity of Jesus learning and living out such a profound God-given assignment. It makes me know if I seek to have more encounters with Him and cooperate with Him, He will transform my humanity and keep transforming me until I am in His full stature. Paul wrote, “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” Romans 8:29 (ESV) I eagerly rejoice as He reshapes me into thinking, behaving, responding and living as the humanity of Jesus walked on this earth. How about you?

I was recently invited to be part of a research project by a person with a PhD. The person who gave me more guidelines about the project repeatedly wrote, “If I don’t hear from you within a certain amount of time, I will assume you don’t want to take part in the project.” I understood that statement to be setting the boundary for participating in the project—fair enough. Its repetition implied I hadn’t caught it the first time. I questioned the reason behind the frequent repetition. I assumed they believed I might initially miss it or that my comprehension wasn’t sharp enough to get it right away. In any case, it seemed condescending. We’re both adults, so unlike children who often need repeated instructions to remember, parents and teachers don’t typically have to repeat things multiple times.

Occasionally, my words or actions don’t reflect what I meant. It’s a great help when someone shows me my mistakes by mirroring my actions or words, so I can stop myself from making them again. Therefore, I tried to respond in a kind way that, while the person probably didn’t intend it to come out that way, their repetition felt condescending.

However, after I had done so, I second guessed myself and felt I had maybe violated Paul’s admonition of “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (ESV) He again wrote, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13 (ESV) Should I have ‘held my tongue’ and absorbed the unnecessary repetition?

“Bearing” doesn’t mean that we learn to “put up” with people while resentment festers under a forced smile. Our collaboration with God enables us to develop affection for people, idiosyncrasies included. To bear the burden of another person means to accept and even affirm it, and in bearing with it, breaking through to the point where we take it simply as an idiosyncrasy. In other words, one way to bear one another well is to love one another well enough to hold our tongues. After all, for the most part, a bitten tongue beats a loose one.

This raises the question, could it be that the health of a Christian community hangs on the lips of those within the community? Thoughtless words spoken can be misunderstood and damage trust. But we can also be too soft-hearted to stand up to other believers in certain circumstances. (Mattew 18:15-17; Galatians 6:1) We need to love enough to confront. There is a fine line between another person’s statement simply being offensive and it being totally out of line with Christlikeness. Discretion and seeking the Spirit’s guidance must be a significant part of the equation.

In my case, I’m unsure how the other person perceived my attempt to reflect their feelings, but my good intentions with my ‘loose lips’ may have compromised their sense of security or offended them. I hope that’s not the case, but if it is, when I talk to them again, I will apologize. From my perspective, a clear conscience maintained through humility is preferable to pride that prevents the correction of inappropriate words. Where do you draw the line between constructively being a mirror and speaking the truth in love?