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I expect others to see through my eyes and think as I think more often than I like.  We all know that expectation is insane, but that is a common default.  We even think God looks at life as we do.  When He does something that we don’t understand or with which we disagree, we tend to withdraw a step or two from Him.  To think and respond in such a way is only to make God in our own image.  The reality is, if God had no greater mental capacity than you and I, He wouldn’t be God, and He would not be able to help us much.      

The story is reported in 2 Samuel 6 and 1 Chronicles 13 of when David first tried to bring the sacred Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem.  In the process, the oxen stumbled, and when a guy nearby reached out to keep the ark from falling off the ox cart, God immediately killed him!!!  Now a common person would consider a god who kills someone trying to protect something sacred as the kind of god who has a hair triggered anger problem.  They would not want to worship or serve Him.  It certainly would be confusing to say the least. 

By reading on, we learn the reason God suddenly did that. He had said the ark should be mounted on long polls and members of the tribe of Levi should carry it on their shoulders.  Since we serve this very same God, we need to know what this story can tell us about God’s value system and ways.  If not, we too could be killed for our justification for breaking His rules.  After all, the Old Testament (Malachi 3:6) and New Testament (Hebrews 13:8) say God never changes.     

The late radio broadcaster, Paul Harvey, used to say something like, “And now here’s the rest of the story.” The man killed was a Levite who we might think of today as a vocational minister.  The Levites’ primary task was to lead people into God’s presence to worship Him.  When the ark needed to be moved, they were to mount it on long poles and carry it from one place to another.  So why didn’t they do what they had done for many generations?  We can only speculate, but we know when the Philistines captured and then returned it to Israel, they mounted it on an ox cart.  Uzzah must have reasoned that if they did it, we also can, so he ignored the traditional way of moving the ark for a more convenient way.  However, to whom much is given, much will be required.  James 4:17 (ESV) So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.   The Bible is very clear.  God is not like a grandfather who smiles and calls it a mistake; sooner or later He judges sin. 

When reflecting on the “rest of the story,” I mused on how many times God has spoken to us with that uncomfortable inner conviction or in His gentle whisper, and we have blown it off thinking we had a better solution as Uzzah did.  If you recreate how this incident unfolded, you will find Uzzah was near the back of the ox cart where the ark was and was unusually quick to intervene as soon as it appeared the ark might fall to the ground.  He intuitively knew something might just go wrong with his attempt to follow the model that worked for the Philistines.  When it did, he reached out to steady the ark that he and other Levites should have been carrying and instantly died when he touched it.

God’s Word doesn’t offer harmless religious suggestions.  Communion may appear to be a simple religious ritual but notice what the Bible says about it.  For if you eat the bread or drink the cup without honoring the body of Christ, you are eating and drinking God’s judgment upon yourself.  That is why many of you are weak and sick and some have even died (1 Corinthians 11:29-30, NLT2).  How serious do you take Biblical truth about tithing, prayer or things like gossip, immoral sexual activity, lying, etc.  How serious are you about continuing to seek to know Him, so He can be known to others?  Are these things just religious opinions?  This is a sobering thought needed to be seriously considered. 

My last blog focused on an enlightening translation of the original Hebrew word translated “mind” in the verse, You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you (Isaiah 26:3, ESV).  The gold found in digging was the word mind here is more often translated imagination which occurs before your words are even clearly shaped in your mind.  It was pointed out how the imagination is often discounted as not important, but it is really one of the greatest gifts God has given you, and it should be devoted to Him.  

In digging more deeply, another gold nugget in that verse is the perfect peace which is the promised consequence of the imagination (mind) stayed on God. 

The Hebrew word stayed used in Isaiah 26:3 essentially means choosing to risk one’s life trusting in God’s capacity and commitment to sustain them.  It would be as intense as a trapeze artist completely committing him/herself to a balance beam and a cable to hold them up 25 stories above the ground as they walk between two buildings.  A mind (imagination) stayed on Him, which will require initiative, would be like metal attracted to a magnet that snaps back to imagining close communications with Him as soon as the mind is released from the distraction and allowed to idle down.  In the natural this happens when a person is emotionally charged with buying a new car or house or meeting a new friend but must go to a mind demanding job.  But as soon as they get off work, they again begin thinking of the new car, house or friend.

Dreaming is fun, but it must include initiative in order for there to be more than the pleasure of fantasy.  When initiative is combined with imagination, together they generate creativity, innovation and risk-taking, as well as the ability to plan and manage projects that actualize their objectives.  The fruit of that synergy is so gratifying in that it provides you a high sense of significance. 

This is taken to a much higher level when, out of close fellowship with God, a divine revelation component is added.  Our human imagination can lead to misguided actions which lead to experiencing exhaustion and sapping life.  When His imagination is added, we are enabled to see life with fresh eyes.  Hosea 2:14-15 shows us that times of trouble and desert experiences can help us unlearn misguided dreams and perceptions and produce in us dynamic hope and real faith.  More importantly, His Spirit also brings His perfect peace and presence which provide a level of confidence that will endure whatever fire or flood we may experience. 

Can you imagine being that dependent upon God to provide you with His wisdom in the choices you make or in the words you think and speak?  This offers me hope!!  By turning my imagination loose to envision myself seated in Christ in Heaven, my mind is renewed to the point He becomes everything to me.  He begins to live and move and have my being.  As His child I naturally lean on His love and wisdom and thereby experience the promised peace of mind.  Learning to habitually imagine myself in Christ gives me greater confidence, strength and energy and even love for others.  To think I can receive all that by just taking the initiative to have my mind stayed on the One I love is astonishing.  It is inspiring to think my imagination will never be at the mercy of my impulses but will always be at the service of God.    

When operating a day-care several years ago, we observed the children have wild imaginations, like a dinosaur living under their bed or in their basement.  Crazy.  But adults also imagine things.  They may imagine being a star of some sort, an argument with someone, that they heard you say something you never said, or that you are angry at them when you are not even close to being angry.  What is it that shapes imaginations?  Insecurities or too much pizza?  The Bible gives us one clue.

Here’s a fascinating usage of the Hebrew word translated “mind”, You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you (Isaiah 26:3, ESV).  The gold is found in digging, so let’s dig.

The Hebrew word translated mind here is more often translated imagination which occurs before your words are even shaped in your mind.  Isaiah 29:16 uses it for the actual piece of pottery: “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it…” that the object was not shaped properly?  David used this same word when he said to his son Solomon, As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts.  If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever (1 Chronicles 28:9, NASB77).  He later used the same word when he prayed for the Hebrews, O LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, our fathers, keep this forever in the imagination of the thoughts of the heart of thy people, and prepare their heart unto thee (1 Chronicles 29:18, KJV).

Here is the first gold nugget (more in the next blog).  The imagination you often discount as not important is really one of the greatest gifts God has given you, and it should be entirely devoted to Him.  Yes, your own imagination can misrepresent reality, be the source of greed, silly fantasies or villainous illusions and can feed mental illness.  However, some of what comes from that arena of your life is priceless.  Children often utilize this gift very early in their life because it provides unlimited opportunities.  The imagination stage is where innovations, entrepreneurial dreams, intuitive insights or intimate relationships with God are birthed.  Furthermore, everything you have can be taken away from you. But, no matter what the circumstances, your imagination can never be taken away from you.     

If you bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ and release your imagination to revel in who God is and the truth He reveals in His Word, you will discover HIS imaginations within you will be a major asset to your faith when facing a trial and provide a confidence rather than an arrogancy in your daily life.  This is because your faith and the Spirit of God will work together in your imagination to lead you into what it is like to have His mind.  You then are able to enjoy His perfect peace and abounding joy producing confidence to face any challenge in life.  AND you will be much more fruitful in what you do in His name.

What have you been doing to shape imaginations that result in leaning more fully on the Holy Spirit or produce deep, lasting inner peace?  Do you believe reveling about the greatness of God can be fruitful to your daily life?  I’ve found doing so is slowly changing my thinking, emotions and behavior.  Could the phrase stayed on Him offer more insights on this promise?

Is jealousy the same as envy or very different?  If you ask a person when they have felt jealous, they very likely will describe when they felt envy.  Jealousy occurs when a person already possesses someone or something and wants to protect it while envy occurs when a person lacks a desired item, attribute or position.   However, when envy is mixed with jealousy, jealousy becomes polluted. If a person has a partner and a more attractive and capable individual enters the scene, that the first person may actually envy the attractiveness and capability of the third party although expresses it as pure jealousy for their partner.   The mixture of the two can make jealously ugly and abusive which is typically experienced by most humans. 

James wrote about wars and fighting between humans. What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires [envy] at war within you (James 4:1, NLT2)?  He points out the source of the fighting is not what others do that feels threatening, but rather in the envious thoughts one wrestles with in his/her own mind and emotions.  James then goes on to define that inner conflict as spiritual adultery—trying to love the world and God at the same time.  His point is that God will not tolerate a bride having a love affair with the world while she is married to Him.

Verse 5 can justifiably be translated in a couple ways.  But, given the context of the previous verse where he calls the readers adulterous people, I understand the English Standard Version as capturing the better interpretation when it reads, Do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us” (James 4:5, ESV)?  Moses said something similar about God when he wrote, You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you (Exodus 34:14, NLT2).  These similar thoughts bring out a most profound truth.  Most of our fighting with others is actually a battle between us and God regarding who will be king of our lives.

Since God lacks nothing for Himself, He therefore has no envy.  He has a healthy, untainted jealously for the spirit He plants within a person when he/she becomes a believer (Ezekiel 36:26).  For the individual He insists our spirit must not become smothered or otherwise distracted by any envious thoughts we wrestle with in our mind or emotions or those stimulated by who or what is around us. 

The fact that we want more than what God has given us only reveals the pride within our heart—we deserve more than what He has given us.  That pride is what is hindering us from receiving God’s grace which is essential to our salvation AND joy in this life.   James actually addresses that fact when he writes in this context, … he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble” (James 4:6, NLT2). 

Point, just as a good husband would not put up with his wife having multiple on-going affairs (or vice versa), God will not put up with believers who refuse to stop loving the world which includes loving themselves more than God.  If we will humbly recognize and go to God admitting our prideful envy, He will have favor on us and give us more of His grace that brings us His joy.  I don’t know about you, but more often than I like, my prideful and envious heart put me at odds with God as well as those around me.  Holy Spirit, please help me apply this truth more often in my life.

John Calvin was a God-fearing, French theologian, pastor and reformer in Geneva, Switzerland during the Protestant Reformation.  He was a principal figure in the development of the branch of theology later called Calvinism.  His followers further developed his concept to the point some have said he would roll over in his grave if he saw how it has evolved today.  Other founding leaders have had the same thing happen to what they espoused.   How does this happen?  In essence, the followers embrace their predecessor’s basic concept/theology but never owned their trailblazer’s heart.  Therefore, each adds his/her own interpretation or ideas of what the teaching meant and before long it becomes only a shadow of what was intended.  This has happened in businesses whether it be Walt Disney who birthed Disney Land or Sam Walton who started Walmart. 

This same thing happens in discipleship.  Jesus commanded his followers to make disciples of all nations.  However, those who have endeavored to do so have essentially made converts of their own way of thinking.  Some are not much different than the Pharisees to whom Jesus said, … you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are (Matthew 23:15, NLT2)!  The problem wasn’t with Judaism but with how the Pharisees had reshaped it to be something very different than God had intended it to be.

Jesus’ meaning of discipleship was based on devotion to Him as He was devoted to His Father, not on as adherence to a belief or a creed.  Jesus described that form of devotion as so exclusive that He said, if you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple (Luke 14:26, NLT2).  He went so far as to say, if you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it (Mark 8:35, NLT2).  Practicing this type of life Paul said to the Ephesian elders, … I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God (Acts 20:24, ESV). 

I fear that today we have been led to substitute doctrinal belief for personal belief.  That’s why so many are devoted to causes and so few to Jesus Christ.  People do not want to be devoted to Jesus, rather only to the cause He taught.  Jesus’ first obedience was to His Father’s will, not to the needs of men.  Our salvation was the natural outcome of His loving obedience to the Father.  If I am devoted to the cause of humanity alone, I will soon be exhausted and come to the place where my love will falter.  However, if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity even if I’m treated as a doormat or serve in the smallest and most remote place.  The secret of a disciple’s life is devotion to Jesus Christ, and a characteristic of the life is its discreet nature.

What might happen if more believers where you live actually lived out the devotion Jesus modeled for us in His devotion to His Father?  What might it take to change the culture among believers to be totally focused on loving Jesus more than the causes that have evolved from what He taught?  This gives me pause when I consider how much I’ve followed what I’ve been indoctrinated to believe rather than what Jesus and His disciples literally lived out.  Holy Spirit, please help each of us recalibrate our thinking of what devotion to God is all about.

I remember singing the old hymn Faith of Our Fathers.  The lyrics went…

Faith of our Fathers! living still
In spite of dungeon, fire, and sword:
Oh, how our hearts beat high with joy
Whene’er we hear that glorious word.

Our Fathers, chained in prisons dark,
Were still in heart and conscience free:
How sweet would be their children’s fate,
If they, like them, could die for thee! 

Faith of our Fathers! Holy Faith!
We will be true to thee till death.

Is the faith of our fathers in this hymn different than that of fathers today?  Yes and No.  No, in that we see few fathers who, although they say they believe in God, yet out of love for Him will endure what is described in this song.  Yes, in the sense that we do see some fathers who out of their deep love for God do endure all kinds of persecution.  What exactly is the difference in such types of faith? 

One of the distinguishing marks of the original 11 of Jesus’ 12 disciples was the fact that after Jesus ascended into heaven, what they did (not said) revealed just how deeply they had faith in Jesus and the truths He taught.   If this was mere mental or emotional belief, a month or so after they began to face serious problems they would have begun to fade into the shadows and go back to their old life.  That is what many do today when God lets them feel some heat.  In contrast, these men SACRIFICIALLY pressed on the rest of their lives through threats to their life and eventual martyrdom.  Why?  Because their faith had become a deep conviction, not just religious rhetoric.  THAT is a picture of the difference between real faith vs mental or emotional faith. 

While Jesus was still with them, they all were in a boat in the midst of a severe storm.  When they woke Jesus up from his deep sleep and said to Him, “Don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38) Jesus then rebuked the wind and it became completely calm.  The disciples were “terrified”.  Jesus’ also said, “Do you still have no faith?”  Consider this.  Why had they started to follow Jesus if they didn’t believe He was maybe the Messiah?  Nathanael had already determined He was the Son of God! (John 1:50)  Why did they wake Him up if they didn’t believe He would be able to calm the water?  Was it because they had become irritated with Him for not helping them bail the water coming in the boat?  Or, was it because they had a level of faith that He was the Messiah but due to circumstances they were operating out of their soul (mind and emotion) faith rather than intuitive (spirit) faith?

Is your faith in God like that of the past fathers in the hymn or like so many fathers today who say they believe but resort to their own resources when facing serious problems?  Is your faith a mental or emotional thing or a deep conviction that calmly endures through dungeon, fire and sword? 

Thank you, Father, for the faith Your Spirit planted within our spirit when we were born again.  (Ezekiel 36:27) Help us to not only endure whatever life throws at us because of our spirit faith, but also take risks when You guide us to do what seems impossible.  May Your faith planted within us bring You honor and glory as we calmly release it in our daily walk of life.

Remember having a really bad day when it seemed everything you tried to do didn’t work?  Perhaps it is today.  Your dreams seem to have collapsed around you, and you feel like sitting down and having a good cry or maybe sticking your fist through a wall. 

The psalmist was having a really bad day! Everything around him seemed to have gone out of control. His problems were so severe that it seemed the sea was raging with foam and dissolving the mountains around him and a major earthquake was causing the earth to tremble! On the political front, the nearby nations were in chaos with several tottering like a drunk man.  He felt threatened on every side.  Within himself his soul was being torn between the uncertainties around him while in his spirit he wanted to believe God was in total control. 

In the midst of all the mixed messages he was receiving, God spoke to him and said calmly, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10, ESV)! Please notice, God did not promise an immediate calming of the proverbial waters.  He said “I will…” but didn’t indicate a tangible how or when.  When I have experienced that, my mind and emotions shout, “Yeah, but what do I do right now while You wait until all things are right—until all the stars get in alignment?”  His answer is, “Be still.” 

The Lord wasn’t in a mental or emotional frazzle as David or you and I might be in those times.  He didn’t call for an angelic emergency council and bark out orders that snapped them into action in order to meet David’s felt need.  Nor did He tell David to prepare for defensive or offensive action.  He wanted David to see life on earth as He saw life on earth.  Paul essentially said the same thing when he wrote, [the Spirit] raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6, ESV).  From that vantage point, we have no reason to become all worked up when our national political climate, our personal health, finances, relationships or dreams feel like they are crumbling.  The only way to know when He is calling us to exhaust our strength, resources, time or energy is to first take time to “be still” before Him and then toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within [us] (Colossians 1:29, ESV).  We are then responding out of our God-inspired intuition and conviction rather than our mind and emotions.

Normally that is hard to do when your mind and emotions are swirling with all the sensory data you see and hear.  But when that happens, it should be like a yellow light on our car dashboard telling us to Be still, and know that I am God.  How well are you learning to respond to life around you looking at your circumstance from God’s perspective rather than yours?  It has been slow, but I’m discovering I am less and less influenced by fads, bad news or good news, or words spoken around me.  To that I give the Holy Spirit the glory because I know it has not been within my toolbox of disciplines to bring about those changes within me.  Please know this is doable.  Let’s work on it together. 

Jesus and His disciples were in a boat headed to the opposite side of the Sea of Galilee.  Little details like And other boats were with him add authenticity that this was an actual report not just a story.  Jesus was exhausted, so He found a spot in the stern of the boat and fell asleep.  A great storm arose, perhaps as we have recently been experiencing in Nebraska.  It was severe enough the boat began to sink.  Experienced fishermen, as some of them were, became overwhelmed to the point they woke Jesus up and blurted out their frustrations with Him.  They said to Him, Teacher, don’t you even care that we’re going to drown?

Jesus woke up and calmly said, “Peace! Be still!” (Mark 4:39), and suddenly everything became calm.  This blew the minds of His disciples.  Why so surprised?  They had seen Him work miracles but not speak to nature and have it change its behavior!  My point is, the picture they had of Jesus was great, but not big enough to calm the wind.  Like other Bible characters, I have faced dilemmas thinking I was trusting God, but time was running out and there was no answer from Him in sight.  I suspect it was similar circumstances that led Abraham and Sarah to take things into their own hands and create a baby boy by way of their female servant.  In my case, I had our church hire the best candidate I could find to serve as a youth pastor.  Although that person loved God, was talented, and even had success in building the youth group, his lack of integrity took him out of the game.  For me, the God I had pictured in my mind was too small for my circumstance and my boat began taking on water causing me to make a wrong decision.

Peter wrote in his first letter, But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you  (1 Peter 5:10 (NKJV). Did you notice the Holy Spirit inspired him to first reference God of all grace then in the very same sentence write of believers suffering? We normally recoil at the sound of suffering and attribute it to Satan’s destructive work.  Peter then connects perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.  Wow!  That feels like an oxymoron.  Can suffering be a good thing that ultimately brings about our perfection and other desirable things? By weaving two contradictory actions together, he is giving us a bigger picture of just how big our God of all grace really is!  Is your mental image of God THAT big?  …big enough to orchestrate suffering to lead to perfecting and strengthening? 

If so, this adds greater depth to what Paul writes in And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, (ESV).  This is what Paul must have been thinking of when He said, Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done (Philippians 4:6, NLT2). 

The bigger picture is revealed in Paul’s words, For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers (Romans 8:29 NIV).  I’ve found God is big enough to use suffering in the process of perfecting, establishing, strengthening and settling us.  He wants us to rest in who He is, not in what we feel or experience.  When we do so, our anxiety level melts like ice on a hot day.  I’m slowly learning just how big my God REALLY is and as I have done that I find I worry far less.  I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit enabling me to see a broader picture of who God is.

Amber, our youngest daughter, wanted to get an early start one day while almost all of our family was recently at Disney World in Florida. Waiting in front of the notorious castle that often symbolizes Disney Parks for the daily welcome and opening of the park rides, a young lady with an overabundance of makeup on her face stood at the front of the crowd taking selfies.   Another girl with her was taking pictures of her as well. This girl obviously thought she was attractive and glamorous by the way she posed before each picture.  Interestingly, she was doing all this in front of a watching crowd of hundreds of people.   

While observing her little performance, it made me think of how young children especially often call out to their parents or friends, “Watch me.” as they walk on a narrow board, jump around or do something silly.  Of course, we smile knowing they are simply seeking the attention and praise of their family or friends.  As we age, we aren’t so brazen yet still use different techniques like telling stories or doing those things we think we are good at to seek the approval or praise of our friends.  After witnessing or preaching my dad would often say, “I really shook them up!” inferring he really made them think differently.  In other words, he was really looking for praise for doing something admirable—just as so many of us do.  Some get a respectable degree, have a nice car or house, create a business, (you fill in the blank) ____, etc. in order to get others to respect if not admire them.  It seems as though we all are shaped, by God or the Adamic fall, to crave the attention and/or approval of others.  If we are not skilled or attractive enough, we find ourselves in some form of defeat, low self-esteem or depression. 

These thoughts came to my mind as I read Solomon’s words, Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a person is tested by being praised (Proverbs 27:21, NLT2).  We value silver or gold that has been purified (tested), so why can’t we see the positive value when we fail to receive from others the praise for which we long?  Could it be that God uses praise to test and purify us while we seek praise to make us feel better about ourselves?  If so, our response when people praise us is being carefully observed by the Holy Spirit who is seeking to teach us to be like Jesus. 

Jesus said these very profound words, How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God (John 5:44 ESV)?  Those words have sobered me many times over.  They have actually changed my value system!  How so?  If I find myself seeking the approval or praise of others, it will be much more difficult for me to seek God and His approval/glory.  Those who thrive on accolades from others (crowds or individuals) will find themselves spending more time and resources seeking to fine tune their skill set, their influence, their personality in contrast to sacrificing the same things in order to seek to more intimately know the God who alone can give us healthy confidence and esteem.  In contrast, those whose passion is to know God, His ways, His value system more intimately slowly develop an immunity to the praises of other humans.  I know from personal experience this is true!   

No wonder Jesus said, But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides (Matthew 6:33, AMP). I believe a significant life on this earth is not about what we do but about why we do what we do!    

I’m on vacation with my family at Disney World as I write this.  It is a time when I do things, not because the activity gives me pleasure, but rather because I love my family and find pleasure in doing what they find pleasure in doing.  In this context, I learn from my grandchildren things about myself—and probably most all of humanity.  My youngest grandson showed me how fickle I can be when he wanted to go on a ride, then didn’t want to go, then did want to go—you know the drill.  So often we don’t really know what we want God to do in or even through us.  Our soulish desire depends on how we feel at the moment about the situation with its different facets.

In Psalm 139 David begins in verse 1, O LORD, you have searched me and known me!  After time passes, and he considers just how much God searches and knows of him, he is terrified because he knows himself.  He then writes in verses 6-7, Such knowledge is too wonderful [incomprehensible] for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?  That is what happens when we think about all our not so righteous thoughts and failures while also considering a most perfect and Holy God seeing and knowing all those things.  We want to run from His presence! 

After realizing there is nowhere to hide and reflecting further on God’s grace, mercy and intense love for him, David is transformed within and then prays the powerful infamous words in verses 23-24, Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!  Instead of wanting to run and hide from God, he now runs towards Him and wants Him to clean out all the impurities of his humanity. 

When we first come to know God’s love and forgiveness, like David we are in awe of how great our God is and comforted in how He sees and knows us so well.  But after we walk farther down the path, we find ourselves wrestling like Paul when he wrote, And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway (Romans 7:18-19, NLT2). Instead of being honest about our condition and running to God, we live in denial continuing to wear a veil/mask as Moses did in order to hide the glory that was fading (2 Cor. 3:13).  Not until we come to the place in our spiritual journey when we are real with ourselves, others and God do we humbly ask God to search our inward being, so He will be able to take us to the next stage in our journey where we can be totally free and transparent. 

We can talk a lot about our imperfections in the earlier phases in our journey, but not until we humbly experience His transformative revelation of His continued grace and mercy as David did in his Psalm will we begin to live in the full stature of Christ.  Until then, we will persist in finding creative ways to look, sound and feel more spiritual than we really are.  We say we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength—until He asks of us to be and live as Jesus, a true servant, practicing spiritual disciplines, loving the Father to the point of doing “nothing” outside of His will.  I’m finding in my personal journey the reality of the old chorus with the words, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”  Oh yes, Satan tricks me into thinking and doing less than righteous thoughts and actions, but God is increasingly cleansing me, so I find myself rejoicing with each of His victories instead of feeling the need to put my holy mask on again and again.  

Where do you find yourself in this transformational process David wrote in poetry in Psalm 139?  So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT2).