Ouch!! Although I don’t know that it showed, I recently felt a jab of pain when a person I was trying to help misunderstood what I was trying to say and responded with defensiveness. We’ve all at least flinched when we felt misunderstood, falsely accused or treated with disrespect or even contempt haven’t we? I wonder how God felt when He saw the choice Adam and Eve made in the garden to mistrust Him. Their defensive response of blame exposed the fruit of their crucial choice. Adam even bit the hand that fed him and blamed God for giving him Eve who he said led him to eat of the forbidden fruit! Each of us to some extent have followed their model and indulged in one of its many expressions.
I’ve clearly seen the defensive response to guilt in my grandchildren, myself and most every adult I’ve encountered. When one of my grandchildren has broken something or has done something wrong, he or she has blamed his/her sibling and made up some excuse that has relieved his or her guilt. As an adult I’ve felt jealous of others more gifted than I, and instead of accepting that God shaped me with different skillsets, I made up some reason why I was not as successful; I blamed my parents, my social class, where I was educated or the teachers/professors, etc. Instead of owning the neglect or foolish mistakes I made, I even took the high road of the same defensiveness and essentially told myself I was more spiritual than those preforming better than me. You know what I’m writing about because you’ve most likely done something similar as well.
Peter wrote to Christian slaves who apparently took the more “spiritual” spin on when they felt the pain of their master’s discipline. Instead of owning what they failed to do on their job and the natural consequences for it, they made themselves feel better by believing God would bless them for having had to experience the pain. Their pride prevented them from receiving God’s true blessing. To that response Peter wrote, Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you (1 Peter 2:20 NLT2).
I’ve recently been humbled as I reflected on Jesus’ human response to the deep, deep pain He endured. In His humanity He patiently endured suffering for only doing good! How did He do that? Paul explained His secret, …[He] emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, (Philippians 2:7-9 ESV). What a stunning contrast to Adam and Eve’s defensive response and my all too common response!!
How might things be different if when we find ourselves with a poor work ethic or neglecting efforts to build our skill set, etc.; we humble ourselves, own what we could do but haven’t been doing, then recalibrate our trust in our heavenly Father to sort out the details and honor Himself through our depraved humanity? That is not to say there will not be times when the Holy Spirit, in contrast to our defensive ego, prompts us to stand tall as Jesus and speak righteously in love instead of anger when confronted by our accusers. It seems we might be much better off in mental health and spiritual power if we rightly discerned the difference and remember James 4:6, …God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.