When going through my recent stint with kidney stones, I wanted to learn as much as I could through all the pain and humbling experiences. One thing I was reminded of is my love, appreciation and respect for Connie, my amazing wife. She certainly shines much brighter than I, and I’m very proud of her for doing so. I have deeply loved her for decades, but it was in my pain I saw how awe-inspiring of a woman she has been in my life. Interestingly, as I reflected on those things, I found my feelings of love for her rise to the surface and bubble over the edges of my thinking and feeling. Just experiencing that brought me great pleasure and warmth within.
Something I then had read in my devotional time emerged through my foggy mind. Our love and appreciation for friends and fellow workers in our life also have a way of losing their luster. In fact, the old axiom can even be true that familiarity breeds contempt. We’ve all watched a young couple fall in love and get married. But then, instead of happily riding off into the sunset for the rest of their lives, the cares and disappointments of life began to cloud the romantic stars that once sparkled in their eyes. These stars disappeared as their partner began to fail to meet their suitcase full of unspoken, subconscious expectations. Some go so far as to become embittered and end their relationship in divorce. Through counseling I’ve found it possible to lead them to again fix their eyes on the great features of their spouse. When they did that, the debris would clear enough for the bright stars to return to their eyes—but for a few, lasting only several months because they would fall back to their old selfish ways of focusing more of their spouse’s faults than on their admirable qualities.
How might that be so different in our relationship with our God? At our salvation we were dazzled by God’s love and goodness. This lasted until we felt He stopped fulfilling our subconscious expectations of Him due to our convoluted thinking that God is always good based on our definition of that word. It is like children whose parents give them virtually whatever they want until what they want could hurt them. The parent’s word “no” then makes them angry! Once God says “no” to us, it will be only a matter of time before our talk of loving God with all we are begins to die and fossilize just as it can happen in our marriage.
Stretched by his pain, Job’s humanity became frustrated with God. One of his better friends, Elihu, actually begins to challenge his thinking by saying, among many other things, Listen to this, O Job; Stand still and consider the wondrous [awe-inspiring] works of God Job 37:14 (NKJV). God’s words to Job that followed Elihu’s words stunned Job. Through this life-changing, eye-opening encounter he again saw the awesomeness of God and then very humbly said I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand Job 40:4 (NLT2).
How long has it been since you stood still in your pain and taken time to absorb the awe-inspiring attributes of God? The lack of such encounters in believers is evident in the waning fear of God and His authentic Holiness in their daily attitudes, words and choices.
Have you become discouraged and subconsciously found yourself with disappointed expectation, comparing your experiences with others and maybe even trying to justify or rationalize why you “left your first love” for Him? God’s solution for each of us in these times is the same as His answer to the Ephesian believers, Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches Revelation 2:5 (NLT2). Holy Spirit, please position us to again Stand still and consider the wondrous [awe-inspiring] works of God.