I’m on vacation with my family at Disney World as I write this. It is a time when I do things, not because the activity gives me pleasure, but rather because I love my family and find pleasure in doing what they find pleasure in doing. In this context, I learn from my grandchildren things about myself—and probably most all of humanity. My youngest grandson showed me how fickle I can be when he wanted to go on a ride, then didn’t want to go, then did want to go—you know the drill. So often we don’t really know what we want God to do in or even through us. Our soulish desire depends on how we feel at the moment about the situation with its different facets.
In Psalm 139 David begins in verse 1, O LORD, you have searched me and known me! After time passes, and he considers just how much God searches and knows of him, he is terrified because he knows himself. He then writes in verses 6-7, Such knowledge is too wonderful [incomprehensible] for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? That is what happens when we think about all our not so righteous thoughts and failures while also considering a most perfect and Holy God seeing and knowing all those things. We want to run from His presence!
After realizing there is nowhere to hide and reflecting further on God’s grace, mercy and intense love for him, David is transformed within and then prays the powerful infamous words in verses 23-24, Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Instead of wanting to run and hide from God, he now runs towards Him and wants Him to clean out all the impurities of his humanity.
When we first come to know God’s love and forgiveness, like David we are in awe of how great our God is and comforted in how He sees and knows us so well. But after we walk farther down the path, we find ourselves wrestling like Paul when he wrote, And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway (Romans 7:18-19, NLT2). Instead of being honest about our condition and running to God, we live in denial continuing to wear a veil/mask as Moses did in order to hide the glory that was fading (2 Cor. 3:13). Not until we come to the place in our spiritual journey when we are real with ourselves, others and God do we humbly ask God to search our inward being, so He will be able to take us to the next stage in our journey where we can be totally free and transparent.
We can talk a lot about our imperfections in the earlier phases in our journey, but not until we humbly experience His transformative revelation of His continued grace and mercy as David did in his Psalm will we begin to live in the full stature of Christ. Until then, we will persist in finding creative ways to look, sound and feel more spiritual than we really are. We say we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength—until He asks of us to be and live as Jesus, a true servant, practicing spiritual disciplines, loving the Father to the point of doing “nothing” outside of His will. I’m finding in my personal journey the reality of the old chorus with the words, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.” Oh yes, Satan tricks me into thinking and doing less than righteous thoughts and actions, but God is increasingly cleansing me, so I find myself rejoicing with each of His victories instead of feeling the need to put my holy mask on again and again.
Where do you find yourself in this transformational process David wrote in poetry in Psalm 139? So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT2).
Once a week I send out a text to eleven guys asking them to read a specific chapter on the Bible each day for the coming week. I was thinking of asking them to read Psalms 139 for this coming week, but was not sure. Now I am. Thank Pastor Bob.