At my retirement reception many very encouraging words were spoken to Connie (my wife) and me. Although appreciated I felt awkward. I’m uncomfortable being the center of attention or preaching for that matter. I’ve preached for decades but not because it brought me pleasure. My pleasure has come from doing what the Spirit calls me to do even when it was not enjoyable.
In my journey through life, I’ve thought a multitude of negative things about myself and even verbalized them. I know I’m not as gifted of a speaker as many of my colleagues and I’ve questioned God as to why He called me to do a task that He didn’t naturally shape me to do. Some have called me wise when in fact I fumble with senseless words unless the Spirit prompts me in what to say. That doesn’t make me a bad person, nor does it mean I’m an apple short of a bushel. I am ashamed to admit that all through the years I have thought more about my inabilities than my abilities. I see what I think I’m capable of while others see God’s grace at work in me which makes it appear as though I am far more capable than I am.
Have you wrestled with relentless, self-demeaning inner voices? As I consider this menagerie of voices echoing in the hallways of my mind, I can more clearly see that I have lived in a false sense of humility that I’ve interpreted as my reality and holiness! I hope you can relate in a small way with me because if so, I have good news for you.
It is hard to admit this, but the truth is, my listening to the continual inner talk of my inability has been an insult to my Creator. That gets my attention! If you can identify with my weakness, please try to understand. You and I must get into the habit of examining in the sight of God the things that sound humble before men. When we do, we will be amazed at how the lamenting of our own incompetence is a slander against God’s grace. If we keep telling ourselves we are falling short of God’s expectations, in reality we are saying God’s mercy and grace are impotent because they don’t function in our lives. Such talk may sound respectfully humble before men, but before God it is an attitude of defiance.
As for me, if I will ACCEPT God’s grace and mercy and fully apply them to my thought life, not only can I find relief and hope, I will also be grateful for what He has done and IS DOING and will yet do in me. Paul wrote aware of his imperfections, …whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace (1 Corinthians 15:10, NLT2). The fact is, I’m probably much closer to being what people see in me because of God’s grace than I am to what my fallen mind continues to tell me. The same is probably true of you too.
Yes, all of us are certainly imperfect in performance. But thank God He doesn’t judge us based on our performance. He judges us on how cooperative we are with His continual efforts to change us. We all, with unveiled face, beholding [reflecting or contemplating] the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV). We are not what we were or what we will be. Rather, we are God’s work in progress destined by Him to be transformed into the image of Christ. Will join me to work harder to “get over our self” and praise God for how He is changing you and me? The subsequent joy and gratitude can better bring honor to Him.
Thank you for wrestling with words to express these thoughts that speak of the struggle we humans have. Truly as others have pointed, we can swing between thinking of ourselves too much and too much of ourselves.
Oh how great the Creator who gave us capacity to be aware of Himself.
May.we act within that capacity – to acknowledge His presence continually – in our days and dream of His glory in the nights. Then may our efforts align with His vision for us as His people.
I will join you in the journey
Me too!
I relate.
A very good read. Thank you Bob for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your insecurities. You have definitely spoken words of encouragement and insight into our lives. It’s reassuring to hear that a person I have great respect for, struggles with the same thing’s I struggle with!
Should make all of us reasess how we look at our own humility.
God created each of us with abilities and talents, to use for His glory. When we downplay those talents (in false humility) we are in fact saying God you made a mistake.
Well said, and such a great truth. Thank you!
Enjoyed your sharing, from my observation for the past years there few things that I would consider as your failures, the person I know exhibits the fruits of the spirit in abundance and reflects the image of Christ beyond anyone else I know.
Wow! Your reflections make me feel humble yet so grateful that the Spirit has shined through me. My goal is that you and others will be able to see even more of God in my life as I continue to decrease while He increases within me.
So good! Less of us more of him!