I was serving as a Music/Youth Pastor in Oregon when I experienced one of my most discouraging times. I looked at other ministers who led more significant ministries and asked God many times why He had put me on His proverbial shelf. This memory represented scores of similar frustrating times, especially in the earlier decades of my ministry. I know this has been a common inner battle many have fought. We fantasize that our capacity is great enough to perform at a much greater level than we have been serving.
Looking back I’m reminded of Peter’s exaggerated confidence of his capacity to serve Jesus. Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you” (Luke 22:33, NLT2). We’ve all been guilty of similar thoughts. It comes out very early in the fantasy of children who imagine themselves doing far more than they are physically, mentally or emotionally capable of doing.
God knows us far better than we know ourselves. Jesus responded to Peter by saying, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me” (Luke 22:34, NLT2). There are so many variables of our self that only God can see and understand, including the limits of our faith. He alone knows what we can handle. He is never misled by our imaginations or exaggerated promises.
The Psalmist wrote No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt a man. But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another (Psalm 75:6-7, NIV). We must remind our self that God is far more interested in accomplishing His kingdom purposes than you or I. He will move us into every assignment He knows we are ready to take on. It may be that a dream we receive will be fulfilled in the future, but not as soon as we envision. God gave Joseph a dream of his family bowing before him. However, when he prematurely told it to his brothers, it sent him into a series of one dark experience after another. After he had gone through the Spirit school of hard knocks, He was elevated to do just as he had dreamed—but with a humility and tenderness towards God he did not have when he received the dream. I am unable to imagine how badly things would have gone if the Spirit would have allowed him to become such a ruler in the early days after receiving his dream.
So much comes down to the level of trust we have in God knowing us and ordering our steps. In our pride, like a child we arrogantly think we are ready to do whatever we dream of doing with or without God’s empowerment or guidance. In such a case, we expect God to bless our timing, our foolish pride and underdeveloped knowledge or skill set. We even become frustrated with God when He doesn’t do what, when or how we schedule for Him to perform His assigned task.
Each of us can experience the faith and level of trust that resulted in the spiritual success Paul attained when as an individual we can honestly say with the apostle Paul, I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t (Romans 7:18, NLT2). Authentic trust increases in me when I am genuinely humble before God and man. Let us commit to helping each other resist the culture’s pressure to build and protect our ego and pursue greater knowledge of our Lord. The more we know Him the more we will trust Him.