About a year ago, Connie had her annual physical. To our surprise, her nurse practitioner told her she needed to be admitted into the hospital at once. For an unknown reason, her hemoglobin count had dropped to 6.5 (supposed to be 12+). She received two units of blood and went through tests to figure out the cause for this severe of a drop. They diagnosed her with a serious blood disorder that could take her life. We were told she may have only 5 months left to live. This shocking news sent us into a semi-crisis mode.
Several friends faced life-threatening situations; two required hospitalizations to survive, one a month of in-depth, outpatient treatment, and another prematurely lost a parent. A baby’s instinctive response, when it senses it is falling, is to throw out their hands to grasp something to break their fall. Adults have the same self-preservation response when facing a crisis. That initial response does not define us, but how we respond after the adrenaline rush does. We choose to either continue to use whatever control mechanisms we can imagine, such as place blame, go into the attack mode, withdraw, or go into depression. Or we can draw close to God and seek Him to direct our subsequent response. This secondary response reveals who we really believe is our hope. Genuine biblical belief automatically walks out whatever we believe in our hearts to be true. Saying we believe differs from living it out. If we decide to resort to what we or someone else can do, it shows our trust is in ourselves or another human, not God. But if we choose to dial down our initial panic and seek God’s comfort and wise direction; it shows that God is our source of strength. God does not condemn us for not choosing Him because He already knew what we believe in our hearts. He is attempting to enlighten us. Such trials reveal to us what is in our hearts. God uses these traumatic trials to allow us to see and then realign or refine the trajectory of our future relationship with God.
Paul explains the inner workings of these times in our life in Romans 6:10-18. He writes, put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:11-12, NKJV). There are two important words here. The first is stand which is more passive than the other which is wrestle, which involves initiative and action. Paul does not use the word wrestle to suggest we are to mobilize our human initiative to take physical, mental, or emotional and go into our attack mode. Notice what he means. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand (Ephesians 6:13, NKJV). The very first word of the next verse again is stand. The wrestling we must do goes on in the battlefield of our minds and emotions, not our body. It involves deciding who we rely on to resolve the issue. Will we choose to trust in our own ingenuity or resources or in God’s strength and wisdom? To be clear, God MAY have us engage in an initiative-taking activity, but if that is the case, His wisdom, not our human ingenuity, will direct and drive the action.
For certain, the wrestling that goes on within is brutal!! Jesus sweat, as it were, drops of blood when He wrestled in the garden. But after surrendering His will to His Father, He received such profound peace that He scarcely spoke when enduring sordid abuse. Connie and I have walked through those dark, dark times multiple times and know this truth works. Our Bible God is faithful, wise and almighty. The closer your relationship is to Him, the more you will trust Him.