Where are we Going?

I will never forget going into a small classroom that doubled as a prayer room and kneeling near a pew there. What made it so memorable to me was what happened to me that Sunday morning.

I was a sophomore in Bible college wrestling with a variety of issues. The most pronounced was that being at this college was going against so much of what I wanted to do. I had vowed multiple times when in high school I would never be a pastor! … never! I attended this college because my dad requested me to go to Bible college for one year before transferring to a college that would prepare me to be a businessman, accountant, or counselor.

As I was driving off the campus my freshman year, a friend stopped me and said “Congratulations on your scholarship!” I was shocked. You see, in my first year I worked 60 hours a week pumping gas and doing minor mechanic work on cars to pay my way through college. That had taken all my money, so I did not have money to go to another college. Since the scholarship would pretty much pay for another year at college, I decided I would return to this college but continue to take only basic transferable classes.

Kneeling, I intuitively sensed God calling me to be a minister! I told Him I would obey, BUT I would only be a music and youth pastor. I’m sure God got a good chuckle out of that! My journey from that point on was like Abraham’s when God called him to leave his homeland but did not tell him where to go! He simply had to follow God’s leading. (Hebrews 11:8)

I was a slow learner because from that point on, I continued to be called to go deeper and deeper into occupational ministry and pushing back hard on that call each time. But God was merciful despite me. He graciously taught me and used how he had shaped me. Ironically, in 2020, I felt released from my calling so I could retire. Little did Connie and I know the retirement path ahead of us would consist of years of battling with Connie’s incurable, unique and lethal version of Myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS). The only thing we recognize in this journey is we again are on a trip, like Abraham, where we do not know where we are going. The only thing we know is God knows what He is doing in us and through us.

We’ve discovered God does not always tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. We believe in a miracle-working God and have learned through it all to surrender to Him until we will not be surprised at anything He does. This is a new level of faith for us. We, especially Connie, feel a variety of debilitating pain, but we enjoy a deep level of God’s peace within us.

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading. It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us “go.” The root of faith is the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest challenges is the idea that God is sure to lead us to victory. It is about something infinitely beyond the purification of faith. It is about being tried and proven, resulting in the faith the three Hebrew children had in Daniel 3:18. Their faith was not focused on God intervening. It was focused on the character of God. His ways may or may not be preferable to us, but they will always be right as well as best for all involved.

If your path is confusing, look beyond what you can imagine and upon who is leading you.

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