How do you feel when you sense you’re being manipulated? Connie recently received an email saying someone had hacked her Apple account number and used it to buy a $26 movie on our credit card. Last year, a con artist bilked my sister out of more than $1000! My blood pressure elevates whenever I sense someone is using deceit on me or I see it happening to others.
But wait! How is that so different from a parent bribing their kids to get them to do good instead of evil? Is it all that different when teachers or preachers use setup situations in their communications to communicate a lesson? I have often wrestled with defining manipulation.
Manipulation is repulsive, and no one likes it. But could there be a very fine line between using discretion in order to get them to be a better person and manipulation that is done for selfish gain? The operative difference lies in the why—the motivations for what is done. Jesus used discretion to speak to the woman at the well and parables to open people’s minds to hear the truth so they could be set free or to live a more abundant life. Never was it for His personal gain.
In contrast, Jacob, a Bible character, manipulated his father in order to steal his brother’s inheritance. Eventually, God dealt with that character flaw using discretion to position Jacob for a crisis moment that would change the trajectory of his future. During that crisis, the angel of the Lord wrestled with Jacob until he admitted his name was Jacob, which meant schemer or trickster (Genesis 32:27 AMP). This admission ended with God changing Jacob’s name to Israel (Genesis 32:28). God also left him with a limp as a permanent reminder of his transformation.
Prov. 11:1 reads, “God detests the use of dishonest scales, but he delights in accurate weights.” We get that because we know He is Truth and loves Truth. Furthermore, using dishonest scales is clearly for personal gain. Let us dive deeper into this. In the sermon on the mount, when Jesus was teaching how God will provide for us, He uses a metaphor pointing out how stunningly God provides for the grass in the fields. He then says, “how much more” (Mt. 6:30) will God cloth or supply our needs? It is an insult to God’s desire to provide for us when we use any form of manipulation, or any form of dishonest scales, to get what we think we want.
In that context, God hates manipulation because it is man’s way of trying to bypass God’s desires to provide for His children. What ways of our culture have you attempted in order to gain success when God does not seem to give you what you want when you want it? How well did that work out for Abraham? (Genesis 16:1-4) Have you tried to fast track things by using shame, fear, lies, or appealing to someone’s hunger for success, or using lust of some sort to get what you want? If so, do those ways sound like God’s ways of working with others, or Satan’s?
Being discontent with your current conditions, then trying to better yourself by using creative manipulation, is NOT the answer! Red Alert!! The father of lies, Satan, is trying to manipulate you just as he did Eve and Jesus in the desert. Get a grip! Jesus came that you could have an abundant life, but you must trust Him and wait for Him to provide it in His time and ways. Devious people are disgusting to the LORD, but he is delighted with those whose ways are innocent. Proverbs 11:20 (GW)