In the past, the frequently used gravel roads I drove on often had rough and bumpy areas, resembling washboards. When you speak, your teeth vibrate, causing your voice to have an involuntary vibrato. If you did not reduce the speed of the car, it would start to slide sideways, making it impossible to control. It was scary if you were in a hurry. To be candid, my last few weeks have felt like I was driving on gravel, washboard roads. While the bumps weren’t as tightly spaced as on gravel roads, they certainly gave me moments I felt like I might be skidding off course. I did some grocery shopping one of those times and made a fool of myself because I couldn’t keep my thoughts focused. It felt like I was bouncing off the rails.
In the midst of those uncertain, jaw-shaking times, when I would slow down long enough, the Holy Spirit would move me into what I call ‘holy moments’. These are when His presence would become so felt, so healing, so soothing and delightful. Perhaps they might be compared to a warm embrace by God that lifts one’s sense of worth, joy, hope, and confidence. Each occurrence was slightly different in intensity, but all transformed my lostness, instability, and uncertainty into an awareness of closeness, security, confidence, and hope. Just remembering them as I type these words brings tears to my eyes because they have been so sacred to me. Each encounter left me with a healthy sense of well-being.
When Connie was still alive, we enjoyed an exceptional sense of mutual interdependency. We shared such trust that made us feel stronger and more assured, especially when going through a rough patch in circumstances surrounding us. She was my most valued earthly treasure. I told her that many times and I meant it with all my heart. The only one I treasured more was God. It was in that context, as Abraham did with his son Issac, I frequently surrendered my most valued treasure to Him. Now that she has entered her reward, I do not feel lonely, yet I most certainly miss my most valued treasure. I only have gratitude for our years together. To be very candid, I have the foggy sense that God received her, in part, so I could more explicitly excel in treasuring Him in my remaining years. My holy moments are clear expressions of our embrace.
Having written that, I often wonder how God’s heart longs to share that same relationship with you and so many other of His children. I cannot help but believe that is precisely what David had in mind when he wrote May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the LORD (Psalm 104:34, ESV). If you search the book of Psalm for how David used some form of the word ‘meditate’, you will find it was almost a holy, awe-inspiring moment for him, one describing an intimate experience with God. I honestly believe that those experiences can be so energized with His presence that our inner beings are transformed more into Christ’s likeness. There is absolutely NOTHING that compares with these divine encounters. The fruit of them is life-giving and life changing. Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night (Psalm 1:1-2, NLT2). Believe me, you will be able to more easily manage the washboard roads in your life when they lead you to extended holy moments in your life. If I can even begin to stimulate a stronger desire within you to seek such recurring encounters with God, I will have served you well. These are the times that have sustained me through the years, but even more so in these days since Connie went to be face to face with Him. I can only pray that you will take time to savor the holy moments you have with Him.
I appreciate your vulnerability, Pastor. Thanks for sharing these insights.
Thank you my friend.