To be very candid, I have had a melancholic temperament as long as I remember. Which, in essence means, this temperament is not carved out by things I’ve experienced in life. It simply means that I am what God created me to be. Therefore, I will respond to certain things in certain ways and have consistent behaviors and preferences towards things I encounter in life. Personality tests I’ve taken showed my traits include being thoughtful, sensitive, and reserved, but also include traits like being perfectionist, idealist and analytical. My wife repeatedly tried to correct me when I would say ‘I hope for the best and expect the worst’. Thanks to God and Him using her to help me, I have moved on from that.
I mention this to illustrate how our culture defines ‘joy’. Despite my strong belief in God’s regeneration, I mistakenly based my understanding of salvation’s joy on cultural norms instead of God’s definition. In doing so, I had to tell myself I had joy, but a different joy than other people seemed to have.
About 15 years ago, I was praying in my home office when I sensed God challenging me to probe deeper into the joy I did have. In doing so, I made a mental list of what I could honestly say brought me joy in this life. Since I was younger then, I genuinely enjoyed snow skiing. I experienced such exhilaration in the incredible beauty of God’s creation of snow-covered mountains all around me, the solitude of gliding down a blue slope hearing only my skis slipping over the snow. That wasn’t joyful, as in smiling or laughing. It was deeper than that. Yes, when comparing, I thought of being with close friends, eating a good meal, family time, and so forth, bringing great joy, but they were not the same type of joy skiing did. A couple of years ago, I attempted skiing again, but my age related poor balance made the experience more stressful than enjoyable.
I then laid alongside of those joy-filled experiences, the joy I felt when I was in God’s presence. There was absolutely no comparison. Being in His presence far excelled anything I have experienced in this life. To this day, I continue to thrive on being in His presence, especially since Connie is with Him now. Several times while I was worshipping Him, in my mind’s eye I saw Connie with hands raised worshipping our same Lord and King. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this. It is like a sacred moment for me because I have a fresh sense of closeness to her.
So how do you define joy? Is it dependent upon external circumstances or happenings? If so, I would caution you. True joy is something that wells up from within you. That is how you can have authentic joy and confidence when your emotions are crushed because it feels like all the ‘wheels have fallen off your tricycle’.
David contrasts the two types of joy when he wrote, “Many people say, ‘Who will show us better times?’ (External) Let your face smile on us, LORD. You have given me greater joy (internal) than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.” Psalm 4:6-8 (NLT2) The joy our world defines and therefore chases is fleeting, while the joy God gives is much more stable and enduring. It is more like a good sense of well-being. Are you anywhere close to wrestling with what godly joy is? Just know this, “[God] satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:8-9 (NIV) God waits to satisfy and fill you if you don’t have that joy.