I suspect I subconsciously falsely assumed I had overcome Satan’s temptations. I erroneously thought I now knew his tactics, so I could ‘fly above’ them. The fact is, until a person is given the opportunity to disobey, a person cannot think of themselves as being above failing to obey. A few years back, I had forcefully preached that we must obey God’s nudging no matter what the consequences might be. I genuinely believed that to be the case. But it is easier to say than to practice. I was about to be tested with that belief.
That year was when our state wide church council elected/re-elected who would serve as the ‘superintendent’ for the next four years. My wife nor I was interested at all in that role, nor did we feel qualified for it. Therefore, as I was about to stand to ask my name be removed from the list of candidates, I had my most powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit. He firmly asked, “Are you saying you won’t take this role?” I froze! How could I decline, having just preached so vehemently, that we must obey whatever God asked of us? So, reluctantly, I kept my mouth shut.
That temptation was followed by Connie’s fatal illness. We had agreed not to resist God’s plan as we had so frequently earlier. While we repeatedly shared with Him our preferences, we cautiously accepted God’s decision to graduate her into His heaven. Having overcome our strong resistance to God’s plans, I felt I was now strong enough to resist whatever Satan might throw at me. What He had not yet made clear to me was that I had to totally stop trusting in myself and start trusting more completely in His leadership and control over my life.
To be more candid. While I learned some through that hard experience, after Connie’s death I had more to learn about not trusting in myself.
One day I clicked on what sounded like an interesting article about insects migrating into the Midwest. As soon as I clicked on it, my computer suddenly exploded with screaming voices that I was being scammed at my bank by several guys in Mexico. One screaming voice was telling me to call Microsoft immediately to stop the scam by locking down my computer. With my adrenaline pumping, I called the Microsoft phone number presented to me. But this phone number wasn’t Microsoft’s; it was a scam number. So, the saga proceeded.
Unfortunately, I had prided myself on being able to keep my poise in tense situations, and this was God’s way of showing me I cannot trust myself, my poise, or wisdom! I was literally in a state of shock for a couple of days. I was humiliated that I had been scammed! But it jolted me enough to understand I CANNOT TRUST ANYTHING about MYSELF. I honestly believe God allows Satan to throw everything at us like that to show proud people like me how I am just as vulnerable to temptation as everyone else. I will take serious steps to never forget what the Holy Spirit revealed to me about myself.
Each of us needs to understand; it is foolish to say we are too godly, poised, brilliant, resistant, or smart enough to be above Satan’s temptations. From that point on, I am much more cautious about making any decision without consciously trusting God about which direction I am to go. I have expanded that sobriety into all areas of my life. I continually ask God to please protect me from myself.