When I saw that my wife Connie had entered her blessed reward, Job’s words became very real to me. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21b, ESV). I have quoted that statement many times before, but this time I could begin to far better connect with what the very God-fearing Job must have felt. His servants, five hundred teams of oxen, five hundred donkeys and three thousand camels; plus, his seven sons and three daughters were all killed in a single day! Later he lost the support of his wife who told him, Still holding on to your precious [spiritual] integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it (Job 2:9, MSG). Connie and I have lived tightly interdependent lives, so losing her was like cutting me into two pieces! It makes it hard to function.
A poignant quotation from Paul came to me as well. He stated these words in a passing illustration in a sermon on his first missionary tour. Referring to the Bible character, King David, he said … David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, [died] (Acts 13:36b, ESV). Two thoughts came vividly alive to me. The first was the word after. David wasn’t a perfect man, so he bounced around in his spiritual life. It is important to point out God wasn’t pleased with his blatant sins, yet how David responded after he sinned caught God’s attention—as with each of us. He humbly repented (changed the direction he was heading) and returned to 2) serving the purpose of God in his generation. None of us are perfect, but if we desire to, we too can turn from our sin and serve God’s purpose for us in our generation. I clearly saw Connie in this verse. After she served the purpose of God in [her] generation. It is a poignant quotation because applying it to Connie prompts us to apply it to ourselves. Am I giving all to serve the purpose of God in my generation, or do I allow myself to get distracted and serve my purpose with my life? There are so many distractions that we can rationalize will synchronize with God’s purpose, but when what we do is of our own initiative, it is not necessarily God’s purpose. I know that is true because I have done things I thought were God’s purpose in my generation, but it wasn’t, and I was wasting my energy and time.
Needless to say, Connie’s graduation has really messed with my mind and emotions. But through it all, I am so grateful I never felt a need to ask God why He chose this path for me. In my quiet times with Him, He has repeatedly assured me if I hold tight to His hand, He will guide me, and I will not waste my time and energy doing what I think is God’s purpose for the rest of my life. That comforts me as it would anyone who is seeking hard to be an apprentice of Jesus who did only what He saw or heard His heavenly Father do or say. I feel like a 3-year-old child clinging desperately to his father’s hand. Taking this path leaves me with a deep inner peace and eager anticipation of where He will lead me next. I love Him so much I never want to step out of serving His purpose for my life. How about you?
Truly inspiring words and thoughts. As it challenges me in my own relationship with the Lord! Am I totally giving everything for the Lord. What a tribute to Connie she exemplified the life of service to God.
Really really good thoughts – especially at such a time as this. My heart and prayers continue to go out to and for you. Keep standing firm in your faith and staying strong and courageous my friend. You are loved so much.
RogerWendt
Such wisdom and truth, and so inspiring! Thank you for your transparency, your guidance, and your unwavering love and dedication to our God. We appreciate you so much, and continue to pray for you and your family.