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I have lived long enough to see several fads or cultural changes. When Connie and I were in college, she had a page-boy fluff hair do and occasionally included a small wig in her hair. Interestingly, this hairstyle was common in that day. In recent years, the page-boy fluff never returned, but the occasional added hair piece has shown up. When hair or dress styles change, for guys or gals, like dominos falling, everyone changes with it. Remember when it was the in thing for guys to wear bellbottom leisure suits or knit slacks? Today it is tattoos, skinny or holey jeans. Fads are like cookie cutters that leave their mark on nearly everyone.

So, does God use a cookie cutter that leaves its mark on His followers? I would have to say, ‘yes’ and ‘no’. He doesn’t leave visible markings like some religious groups might (e.g. Amish). And He intends for each of His followers to have unique differences in their personalities, capacities, visions, and skill sets. However, He does leave the same marking on the inner part of each of His apprentices. Paul wrote, for those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers (Romans 8:29, ESV). He also described how that would happen. And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ … (Ephesians 4:11-13, ESV). He has no other kind of a follower than the one shaped by a predetermined pattern, Jesus Christ.

The very last recorded command Jesus gave His apostles was wherever you go, make disciples of all nations: Baptize them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Teach them to do everything I have commanded you. “And remember that I am always with you until the end of time (Matthew 28:19-20, GW). Jesus set the pattern for all disciples when He said, If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me (Matthew 16:24, NLT2). Paul also took that pattern seriously and wrote Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1, ESV).

It is noteworthy that the apostles took that pattern so seriously that unbelievers said those early Christians turned the world upside down (Acts 17:6). We must understand the Holy Spirit’s primary work is NOT to make us theologians or encyclopedias of Bible doctrine. Rather, to shape each of us into the very likeness of Jesus Christ, the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. He also decreed Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2, NLT2).

Why did Jesus, Paul, and the Bible teach this? So, the world would SEE and sense deep within that we have been with Jesus, living witnesses of a risen Jesus Christ.

We have naively reduced discipleship (spiritual transformation) down to indoctrination of some sort. We think it amounts to teaching a formula, behavior modification in a sermon, small group or classroom. If you look back on your recent history, is there evidence your presence has turned those in your sphere of influence upside down? If not, could it be that someone inadvertently usurped the Spirit’s work and indoctrinated you instead allowing His Spirit to transform you?

My personality type defaults to assessing and strategizing a solution to a perceived problem. I took a leadership test that defined me as a strategic leader. As with all attributes, that quality can be an asset or liability, depending on the situation. I have found it has shaped me to lean towards being a perfectionist, which can be unhealthy for various reasons. One reason is when it relates to my relationship with God. My default is to hold myself to a higher standard than God asks of me. This leads me to be too fussy about my relationship with Him. I sometimes fret because I don’t spend enough time in prayer, in Bible study, in loving or serving others, etc. It seems at times my spiritual life is more complicated than God intends it to be. This is problematic when the Bible calls me to be content in my relationship with Him.  I’m not saying this because I’m in any need. I’ve learned to be content in whatever situation I’m in (Philippians 4:11, GW).  A godly life brings huge profits to people who are content with what they have (1 Timothy 6:6, GW).  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6, ESV).

If we consider the relationship Jesus had with His Father, it was simple and unassuming, not complicated, and perfectionistic or fussy. There is no hint in scripture that Jesus was unsettled about anything. He was always calm, cool, and collected in every situation. Therefore, He could offer Come to me, all you who are troubled and weighed down with care, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28, BBE). David’s words drill down to the core of the matter when he wrote I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me (Psalm 131:2, ESV). That word picture vividly describes the relationship Jesus had with His Father and He offers that same thing to me—to each of us, mentally and emotionally relaxed.

I’ve learned God is more concerned with my being, not my doing. I have realized that God is not as impressed with all my religious activities as I have been. I realize my activity of ministry is more of a mental or emotional addiction to my soul than a reflection of a weaned child with its mother. All the pumped-up striving and anxious grasping must be humbly surrendered to enjoy the comfortable rest God has planned for us.

The way that I can know if I am practicing the simple relationship with Christ is first by pausing to observe the effects of my faith on others. If I am fussy about my relationship with God, I will be fussy about my relationship with those around me. Whatever level of holiness I practice will become prickly or intimidating to others. This will result in people respecting and loving me, yet politely avoid getting too close to me. It would be a contrast to how people related to Moses when his face shone because of the tightness of his relationship with God. (Ex. 34:29). The second way I can discern I have not yet fully entered His rest is when I compare my mental and emotional as well as the condition of my spirit with the weaned child who is peacefully at rest with its mother. Such a word picture stirs up a deep longing for that full trust, restful and simple closeness to God. To be very candid, I only wish I had been exposed to this truth decades ago. My prayer is this considering the concept will inspire you to make whatever realignment may be necessary to quiet your soul so you can be like a weaned child with its mother. David wrote as a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God (Psalm 42:1, ESV). May that characterize the passion within you for our awe-inspiring God.

Connie, my wife, has had a life-threatening rare blood disease for two and a half years. I’m confident God has heard thousands of prayers for her over these years. We believe in divine healing. We have tried to follow the Spirit’s leading each step of the way. We have strong faith in Him and have seen great provisions and indicators that He is monitoring and walking with us through it all. Yet no divine healing of that malady. All this begs the question; why has there not been His healing touch? Just so you know, we haven’t given up!

Despite thousands of prayers, Connie and I have not yet received God’s entire healing touch. Some have experienced His complete healing by going to be with Christ—which Paul says is certainly far better. Others have experienced a miraculous divine healing touch. So, how are we to respond to God’s promise of healing when we have not yet experienced His healing for which we have petitioned? Millenniums of generations have wrestled with this same question.

Connie and I have been so grateful for the host of prayers offered on her behalf, along with meals and such encouraging words. We are humbled by the spiritual lessons we have been learning through this time. While it may sound strange to read, in spite of the hardships, we would willingly go through it again to receive the profound understanding of God and His ways that we have discovered. This reward of a spiritual nature has been extraordinary.

God’s sovereignty has again been confirmed. We don’t have the level of authority we like to think. Whatever authority vested in us is first, delegated (it is not ours to use according to our whim), and second, it must be authorized by His wisdom and foresight. Consider what Dallas Willard said about faith which releases His authority. If faith is something I can have and exercise all on my own, and if faith is as powerful as Jesus said it is, what do you think is likely to happen? The universe would probably be out of control quite rapidly. There would be mountains bouncing around, fig trees withering all over the place, and mulberry trees flying out of the ground and into the sea! God is more concerned with who you are becoming than in what you can accomplish with your faith.

If humans possessed God’s power, man would misuse that power by using it according to his or her every whim. Therefore, God must have the last word about miracles. Only He can see how the request we make to Him will play itself out in our lives or that of others. This relatedness and dependence upon Him leads us to trust Him when He says no (or not now) to our requests.

We must never forget, God says, My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 (NLT2) When God does something, His wisdom always trumps our nearsighted whims.

Our goal should be for our faith in Him to shift from subconscious dependency on physical or emotional signs, to total dependence upon the awesomeness, character, wisdom, and love of our God. All anxiety fades and His peace and joy come when your heart speaks as Job when he said, I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance. Job 42:5-6 (NLT2)

I enjoy watching sports, especially when the player or team is in their game. I use the phrase in their game to mean they are in their grove to play their best. To be honest, I don’t enjoy watching when a player or team is really off their game. Their timing is off, memory fails, easily distracted, or disrupted, which leads to making inadvertent mistakes. I feel sorry for them because I know the frustrations they are probably feeling. It reminds me of times when the right words don’t come to me, or my mind or emotions are working overtime when I’m trying to do something important. I don’t know why this happens to us from time to time, it just does.

Did the humanity of Jesus ever have that happen to Him? The Bible reports it did. His cousin John the Baptist had baptized him in water and plainly referred to Jesus as being the Messiah who would take away the sins of the world. Jesus loved him and tracked his ministry. He even said no human born was greater than John. Who might be such a hero to you?

John’s ministry landed him in prison where he was beheaded. Try to imagine how you might feel when you heard that your hero, John, was executed by beheading in prison. I highly suspect it would shake your tree!!! Matthew 14:13-14 records His response. It reports Jesus’ emotional response when someone told Him what happened to John. He felt a need to process this privately, so He got in a boat with His disciples and headed for a solitary place to grieve. If your hero was killed suddenly, you can relate to His response. But was this His Father’s plan for Him?

Rather than finding a solitary place to grieve, a large crowd who had followed His boat awaited Him on the shore. Can you picture how the humanity of Jesus might have initially reacted to this disruption to His plan? Don’t forget, He had just left active ministry to find a temporary, solitary place to grieve the loss of His hero. There’s a chance that he felt both positive and negative emotions, possibly even some frustration. Yet, when He faced the crowd, He intuitively knew He must bite the bullet, set aside His plan, and again pour Himself out in ministry amid His grief for John. What isn’t recorded is the possible wrestling in His human mind and emotions. Imagine if Jesus had been dogmatic about doing what He had justifiably started out to do. He would have deprived others and missed the joy of feeding 5000+ people with 5 loaves and two fishes.

His response to the Spirit’s disruption is a brilliant lesson for each of us, especially for me. I had a similar experience. While I immediately followed what the Spirit called me to do, I wrestled with owning His different plan. Here is the stunning part. While floundering to get my mind and emotions aligned with His plan, He was already unpacking the related details that led to multiple miracles involved in that assignment—just as in Jesus’ case. This makes the Father trumping Jesus’ plans without telling Jesus ahead of time is so intriguing and revealing to me. It teaches all of us that while our humanity may travel in a justifiable yet slightly different direction; the Spirit is already setting the wheels in motion for us to fulfill His assignment. We also see the Spirit’s faithfulness to keep us on the right path, regardless of our misguided human plans.

I have a strong desire to be flexible and adjust my plans quickly when the Spirit causes disruptions. The path to achieving that is identical to the path to becoming more intimate with Him. How have you reacted to the Spirit’s interruptions to your misguided plans? What preparations can you make to be ready for those disruptions?

What is the difference between speculation and conviction? Convictions tend to be more certain, while speculations are based on guesswork or theories. Doctors base their prognosis on scientific facts (which often change as they learn more) so their remedies or prescriptions would be on the upper end of speculations. A person hit by a person running a red light would base most of what they say happened on conviction rather than speculation.

John, one of Jesus’ primary disciples, wrote about a lower level of speculation.  The man who says (speculates), “I know him,” but does not do (fact) what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him (1 John 2:4, NIV). In another place he wrote, if anyone says (speculates), “I love God,” yet hates (fact) his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother (fact), whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen (1 John 4:20, NIV).

John is clearly saying some speculate about their salvation. Perhaps someone had told them they were saved. Others base their salvation on what they have experienced. Ezekiel 36:25-27 prophetically spells out one distinguishable sign of authentic salvation. The Spirit through Ezekiel identifies that sign when he wrote, I [God] will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules (Ezekiel 36:27, ESV). We are careful about whatever we highly value. Jesus verified this when He said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments (John 14:15, ESV). John reinforced this when he wrote by this, we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments (1 John 2:3, ESV).  Just to be clear, these verses focus on the motives of the heart, not inadvertent sinful deeds. God has promised to forgive when we confess them. (1 John 1:9) If we carelessly practice what God’s Word teaches is wrong, we are mocking His grace.

When Jesus walked with His disciples, on one occasion He asked them, who do men say (speculate) that I am? They reported John the Baptist and Elijah. He then asked, who do you say that I am? Peter said You are the Christ. We find Peter’s answer was not based upon his speculation; it was based upon experiencing (conviction) a Spirit revelation. (Matthew 16:17) His naivety about what he had experienced was clear by him rebuking Jesus only a few verses later. This shows conviction doesn’t necessarily prevent wrong choices. However, it will lead to repentance.

Looking back on my life, I have had speculative thoughts that I’ve naively thought were what God wanted me to do. The truth was, God didn’t inspire the idea, my mind did. That has made life harder for me than God wanted it to be. Through those experiences, I have developed a conviction that I must take more time to seek what His Spirit is leading me to do rather than my stubbornness, mind or emotions. I’ve learned to better discern His whispers in my intuition or conscience from my well-intended yet deceptive ego fabricated ideas. I am so grateful to God that He focuses most on the intentions of my heart rather than my behavior.

Have you learned to discern the difference between speculations and conviction? I have found a conviction comes from deeper within my spirit—often springing from my chest or gut area. Jesus plainly said to those speculating, I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers (Matthew 7:23, NIV)! I would rather you wrestle with this now than when standing before His throne.

When you call a person wicked, what exactly do you mean? Is she/he someone you can’t control or seems to have a Teflon persona? They are like the proverbial cat who always lands on their feet. Or do you mean the person is cruel and abusive? It has intrigued me how often the Bible refers to the wicked. I’ve wondered just what it might take to be classified as wicked in the Bible. At first, I imagined it referred to a sinner who is a personification of Satan himself. But then I remembered Paul wrote Satan disguises himself as an angel of light! (2 Co 11:14).

The fact is, while the wicked may be violent, criminal, guilty of doing wrong, the word has a far broader application. The Hebrews (God followers) who revolted against God in the desert were called wicked. (Numbers 16:26). The wicked are those who do not obey or serve God and His precepts. (Mal. 3:18). They include those who pick a fight against other God-followers. (Ex 2:13). Fundamentally, it refers to those who are in the wrong, whether it relates to violating the social rights of others, being oppressive, greedy, or doing whatever they can in civil court or otherwise to gain what they feel they are entitled to have.

At the root of the wicked is egotism or full-blown narcissism—everything is about them and their aspirations and comforts. It is not just about behavior, although it will result in ill behaviors. Although the wicked would not admit it, it is about having the heart attitude that thinks they are gods whose ways are higher than God’s ways. They will plot to get what they want, even if it abuses others.

In Psalm 1, David contrasts the fruit of the ways of the wicked and the righteous. The righteous person is as stable as a tree while the wicked is as unstable as worthless chaff that gets blown around with even the slightest wind. What might make as unstable us worthless chaff? Could it be they are given to whatever stimulates their selfish imaginations? A greedy person’s ears are tuned to whatever sounds like will make them money. A power-hungry person’s mind is attuned to whatever they believe would give them manipulative power over others. A foodaholic’s eye is attuned to whatever looks good to eat. Jesus told of those who were attracted to the attention and status that goes with healing the sick and casting out devils. They didn’t care about following God’s laws or ways. They only cared about gratifying their selfish lust for power and position. Jesus said to them I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws (Matthew 7:23, NLT2). Paul wrote that in the last days there will come into the church those who have a form of godliness but deny its power. Have nothing to do with them (2 Timothy 3:5, NIV)! Again, wickedness is rebelling against God’s laws to follow their own rules. Knowing God’s authority yet carelessly and repeatedly and selfishly doing whatever they believe to be a better way is wickedness, whether it is found inside or outside the church. Rebellion (wickedness) is found in every human from time to time because each has a sin-nature that is rebellious against God. It is in the heart of an infant when they throw a temper tantrum and continues from time to time as long as they breathe. However, just as a sinner is one who practices sinning, so a wicked person is one who practices wickedness. It is easy to let my mind and emotions get carried away against authority figures when they are acting wicked or unrighteous. But as soon as I become aware of my attitude, I seek His help in realigning myself. God has always opposed the rebellious heart and always will. I urge you to never take wicked thoughts or behavior lightly. Never allow unrighteous (wicked) thoughts or behavior to take root in your life.

When was the last time you put on a smiley face and were courteous to a person you really were angry with and did not trust? Which expression was the real you? It is a form of double-minded thinking. I recently encountered a God-fearing person who was very distraught because, after too much introspection, he was no longer sure he really loved God. He questioned his true identity. Have you ever questioned who you really are?

When a person has been ‘born again’, according to Ezekiel 36:25-27, he becomes a new creation with new desires or convictions deep within. Although the mind and emotions are involved, this is not merely a decision of the mind or emotions. It is much deeper than that. It is a conviction of the spirit that influences the mind but does not control it. I tried to explain to the individual I encountered that since God’s faith is placed deep within our spirit, our defense against such mental or emotional doubts is to refocus our attention on what our innermost being is telling us. In such cases, we have opposing thoughts going on at the same time. If we trust in our mind to defend us against doubts or temptations, it will only last until the next mental or emotional runaway. In times of distress, we MUST look much deeper within for the conviction that alone can empower us to think correctly with our mind.

The Bible character Solomon wrote this frequently used verse in its shorter form. Proverbs 23:7 NKJV For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Eat and drink, he says to you, but his heart is not with you. The context of the verse paints an interesting word picture. A miserly person is saying at a banquet to guests, “eat and drink” while his/her heart has contradictory feelings about them eating and drinking food she/he spent money to purchase and prepare.

When the Bible refers to thinking in the heart, the heart essentially describes what arises, not from the head but from the chest area. It would be like a person thinking they love a person when their feeling is only coming from their bodily hormones or lust for potential money or privilege.

I wonder if such double-minded thinking doesn’t occasionally happen at wedding dinners or a celebration of some sort. Wherever it occurs, we MUST remember, Solomon did not say whatever a man ‘thinks’, he is, but whatever a man thinks in his heart is his true identity—the real you. This alone will be your solid anchor in the face of temptation or spiritual warfare.

This same concept is true when our mind deceives us. Saul, who later became Paul, thought he was being zealous for God by abusing the Christians. After his encounter with God on the road to Damascus, he discovered his self-deception. The real Saul was misguided in his faith. James wrote about a person who also thinks he is religious. James 1:26 NLT If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

I place great value on my mind or emotions God has given me. However, I must remind myself all too often that my mind and emotions are unstable, therefore untrustworthy in stormy times. My only solid anchor is what He planted in my heart or spirit when I was regenerated. I’ve found stability by distinguishing the difference between thoughts in my head and those from deep within. Are you living out the real you or living the imaginary identity you have conjured up in your mind?

Before Jesus disappeared as He ascended into Heaven, He gave the infamous command, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:19-20, NLT2) What do you suppose may have flashed into the minds of His listeners? Do you think they imagined it meant each of them would select 12 guys who would gather around them and take notes of every spoken word they said?

What comes to your mind when you read the word ‘disciple’ (noun) or ‘discipleship’ (verb)? Either word has been so used and abused, few today would have the same defining word-picture in their minds. Ironically, the most common image would probably include a prescribed teaching environment comprising things like lectures and Bible memorization. A student today is not expected to agree with or be like their instructor, they are only expected to pass the exams.

Biblical discipleship consists more of a transfer of the values, passion, and heart of the discipler than mere knowledge. I like the way the Message reads, …It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words (Matthew 12:34, MSG). (cf Prov. 23:7) The most vital part of a teacher, preacher or disciple maker is NOT what he/she knows. It consists of who they are as a person. Jesus called his disciples to follow Him, not be in a classic educational environment.

The disciples’ primary classroom consisted of walking together or sitting together at a meal. Watching Jesus shaped His disciples the most. They observed how he paused to listen for His Father’s guidance before obediently acting. They learned from his humble demeanor when teaching, working a miracle, or responding to rejection or praise. They tried hard to understand what He commanded, instead of merely memorizing His commands. An authentic apprentice of Jesus is far more dynamic than what that person may say or ask others to do.

I compare the disciple’s classroom to that of a child growing up on a farm, a son or daughter of a shoemaker, carpenter, or mechanic. Paul’s primary request of those he discipled was that they pattern [their] lives after [his] and learn from those who follow our example (Philippians 3:17, NLT2). Discipleship is not the result of a formula, or a seminar, or an educational institution. Rather, it is the deep impression one person leaves on another. A spiritual influencer will not be faultless. However, they will exude an authentically humble and kind response to whatever they encounter, be it success or failure.

What have you been seeking to develop most in your life as a believer? Has it been your knowledge, people skills, or vocabulary? Or have you been seeking to nurture your heart’s passion to be more like Jesus? Who you are when no one is looking or when facing what others would consider hostilities, serious disruptions, or tragedies; speaks far louder than your education, smooth words, or charismatic personality. The members of the council were amazed … for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus (Acts 4:13, NLT2). In short, we focus discipleship on molding the heart of a child, young person, or adult, not just their knowledge, behavior, or skill set. It is a person’s heart that shapes their words and behavior (Matthew 12:34).

How do you feel about serving in the church? Do you feel a sense of moral duty or obligation when called upon to serve? Does it draw out your best because of what it does for your ego? I suspect the modern perspective of this type of ministry is shallow and sometimes just shoddy. Years ago, church members were asked to bring the clothes they no longer used so a missionary could take them to his/her field of ministry to give to the natives to wear. As I remember, those clothes had buttons intentionally cut off and must have been the more ragtag ones in their house. After all, they thought, “it was just for the natives.” Could it be we miss God’s purpose for us giving of ourselves to others, be it clothes, food, teaching or finances?

Isaiah 58:10 tells us if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the suffering, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday. (NASB) I understand that to mean personally, if you or I pour myself out or stretch beyond our comfort zone for the hungry and try to meet the desires of the afflicted, it will lift our depression or the cloud of heaviness around us. This type of service goes beyond the sense of duty or obligation.

Most of what we hear about Christian service today references our possessions, abilities, education or given skill set. People think just giving one of those is what service is all about. Indeed, that is a worthy approach. However, when it is done and said, that kind of service can be reduced to a self-centered spectacle. It is mostly about being seen by others in contrast to sacrificing for them. Isn’t there something missing in that kind of ministry? Let’s admit it. It doesn’t take much to push beyond our comfort zone or sacrifice to give what comes naturally, what we have plenty of; or to serve with our friends. There’s something sacred about pressing beyond what is comfortable, natural to us, or the secret desire for recognition. Interestingly, the recipients intuitively sensed the genuine humility and sincerity Jesus had in those moments.

To be candid, I receive far more from a brother, sister or guest speaker when I sense they are pouring out the very core of who they are. There is something far greater than knowledge, singing, building or whatever, when the server becomes incidental to the spirit within them that freely flows out of their voice, gestures, and eyes. Yes, Jesus miraculously healed and taught with great wisdom in obedience to His Father. But at the end of his life, was He most known and highly honored because He poured out of His life so you and I can live? We are all familiar with the verse in John 3:16, but I suspect few are familiar with what the same anointed writer (John) also wrote. We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So, we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters (1 John 3:16, NLT2). Far more than moral duty or showing off our God-given abilities, meaningful ministry to others involves giving up our lives for our brothers and sisters, as Jesus did for us. When a person is ready to give their ALL, that includes giving more than their knowledge, natural talent or skills, then they will find His joy of serving and see the spiritual fruit of their giving.

This blog has sobered me. I have not always poured out my innermost being to serve those in need. Paul wrote, my life is being poured out as a part of the sacrifice and service [I offer to God] for your faith. Yet I am filled with joy, and I share that joy with all of you (Philippians 2:17, GW). It is in this context I want to more consistently pour myself out when asked to mentor whoever hungers to grow in their relationship with God and His word.

Friendships seem to have played an integral part of humanity since creation. This was God’s idea, not man’s. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him” (Genesis 2:18, TEV). However, when sin entered the world because of Adam and Eve’s sin against God, relationships led to death when Cain killed his brother Abel. It might be said that relationships can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the heart of the person.

Jesus said You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-40, ESV). It is noteworthy that Jesus prioritized them by calling one of them the first and the other the second, but stated each was a commandment. However, if we are not careful, our desire for relationships or caring for others can become more important to us and separate us from our relationship with God. When this happens, it becomes a curse. Our Trinitarian God intends for our love for man to flow out of our love relationship with our God and thereby become a blessing.

Relationships can also be a blessing or a curse to our faith in Christ. We will do fine so long as we regularly feed our spirit and soul on God’s Word. It is when we become weary in working for God, discouraged because God didn’t do what we had expected, physically sick or exhausted, etc. that we become most vulnerable to the words of a misguided Christian or an unbeliever. If, for example, we have a relationship with a cynical believer, Satan will be quick to use that relationship to eat away our relationship with Christ.

Being born again is never about rules and regulations, it is about being restored in your relationship to your triune God. Nor is it about mental assent. The fact is, if your belief in God is only that Jesus died to forgive people in general for their sins—but you don’t believe that Jesus died for you—you aren’t taking hold of Jesus by faith. You only have religion.

When Mary Magdalene went to the tomb on Easter morning, she knew and intensely loved Jesus. She, along with the other disciples, heard Jesus repeatedly say he would die and rise again on the third day. Yet, at the tomb, when Jesus was standing right in front of her, she could not believe he had risen from the dead. It had not even occurred to her. It wasn’t until Jesus called her name (a relational experience) did she believe. This is a great illustration of how no one is born again unless they have a personal encounter with Christ. And when that occurs, a new relationship is born. Everything becomes new and things look very different. It will be this relationship factor that will sustain us through the deepest of dark valleys we may encounter.

Because human relationships are physical, we typically default to thinking only of a physical relationship. We think only of what we see and feel rather than of what is invisible to the natural eye, what is above. This is why Paul had to write specifically Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2, ESV). Remember Jesus said, If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple (Luke 14:26, NLT2).